The United States of America Says Ohio State Officially Owns The Word "THE"

Where do I need to send the payment for using their word three times in the headline? Oops. Make it 5x, just used it again twice more in the last sentence. Shit, make it 6 now.

I could see where people from the other 49 states of this country would find this as the most pretentious douchebag move they've ever seen. However, as a lifelong resident of the great state of Ohio and a 2015 graduate of The Ohio State University, I think this incredible. We now own the most common word in the English language. And I don't mind if other people continue to use the word, I just want them to pay for it. Fund our NIL deals in full. 

I mean, this shirt alone uses THE in all capital letters no less than three times. 

CEASE AND DESIST, BARSTOOL! Or buy us another top recruit.

Okay, I could see how everyone hates this blog. This is the ultimate "love him if he's on your team, hate him if he's not" move. The Draymond Green of trademarks. 

This is also the ultimate comeback story of trademarks, seeing as 3 years ago the US Patent Office DENIED our initial request.

Wow I've never been more right about something in my entire life. Threw that little Patent Office around like a rag doll until we finally got our way.