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Elon Musk' Hostile Takeover Just Got Unanimous Approval From Twitter's Board of Directors

Scott Olson. Getty Images.

 "'And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.' Benefits of a classical education." - Hans Gruber

"Let's put it in my terms: you're in a hostile takeover, you snatch us up for some green mail, but you're not expecting some poison pill to be running around the building, am I right? Hans! Boobie! I'm your white knight!" - Ellis, moments before Hans shoots him in the face.

Another day, another giant step closer to Elon Musk owning everything in the world. When we last heard from The Worlds Richest Man [TM] with regards to the company he doesn't yet own, Musk was conducting a Zoom call with his potential future Twitter employees. Including the ones who have taken to the very app they operate in order to talk about how terrible the world will be if he succeeds in buying it. He was 10 minutes late to the call. Did it on a hand-held phone that had the shaky-cam effect from Blair Witch, and took questions about all manner of topics, not all of them job related:

Bear in mind that this was the reaction from some of them when Musk's interest in the company was first made public:

Daily Mail - [H]is critics claim he will allow 'hate to flourish'. … and comes after employees dismissed Musk as 'dangerous to democracy'. …

California-based employees bombarded the site and internal message boards with attacks on Musk, and raised fears they would now be forced to stop working from home under the new regime. 

Among those whining about the takeover was software engineer Addison Howenstine, who tweeted using asterisks to make the post harder to search for. 

He wrote: 'POV: You asked me why Eln Msk is buying 9.2% of Tw*tter and getting a board seat is bad and I'm explaining why this was clearly not his end goal and things will certainly get worse and potentially be dangerous for democracy and global affairs.' …

Geraint Davies, a senior staff video engineer for Twitter, wrote: 'Anyone in need of a software engineer with 40 years of experience? Asking for a friend.'

Twitter engineer Jay Holler wrote: 'For the first time, Twitter leadership includes someone that I had proactively Blocked on this platform.'

If any of them are still worried about what life will be like breaking necks and cashing checks for Musk, they just got some bad news:

Source - Elon Musk moved one step closer to completing his $44 billion takeover of Twitter on Tuesday when the company’s board of directors unanimously approved his buyout offer, according to an SEC filing.

Shares of Twitter were up by just under 1% in the early morning hours on Tuesday.  …

In a filing with the SEC on Tuesday detailing a letter to investors, Twitter’s board of directors said that it “unanimously recommends that you vote (for) the adoption of the merger agreement.” …

Jack Dorsey, the co-founder of Twitter who stepped down as CEO last year, stands to pocket $978 million once Musk’s takeover is complete.

Parag Agrawal, the current chief executive of the San Francisco-based tech giant, will go home with a $42 million payday as a result of the transaction.

Dorsey owns 2.4% of the company, which translates into 18,042,428 shares, according to SEC filings.

Agrawal, the former chief technology officer who succeeded Dorsey as CEO late last year, would be due to receive a payout of $42 million while another Twitter executive, CFO Ned Segal, would go home with a $25.5 million pay package.

A unanimous vote. The polls are closed, the results are in, and we are projecting Musk as the next CEO of Twitter with 100% of the electoral college. What I don't know about the Twitter board of directors could fill Wikipedia, but I bet they can't agree unanimously where to order lunch for their meetings. But paydays of, respectively, $978 million, $42 million and $25.5 million have a remarkable, almost magical way of helping people with differing opinions and world views come together and achieve consensus. 

The sale is still at the stage where the SEC has to approve it. And while again this is not my area of expertise, I don't see how they don't sign off if the deal is all legal and the paperwork is filled out correctly. Which is the very least $44 billion ought to buy you.

Which brings us back to the disgruntled employees. It begs the question of what will become of them? Is this going to be another example of The Great Resignation? Will the job market suddenly become flooded with disgruntled, strongly pro-censorship asterisk-enthusiasts and veteran tech engineers with a penchant for blocking people and hysteria about the future of democracy and global affairs? 

If there are more where the aforementioned Twitter workers are, it's going to be a tough few months as the labor force gets flooded with them all looking for work. I say again, in theory, you'd think that the prospect of working for a South African immigrant who has put more electric vehicles on the road than all other car makers combined, provides our only source of getting to the International Space Station, and is making plans to put humans on Mars would be an exciting prospect for these people. But Musk is also in favor of letting everyone have their say on Twitter without their approval. And that cancels out all the other stuff apparently. 

Just not to the directors in charge. They act like the point of having a job is to earn a living. Which they just did. A very good one. And as the rest of the rank and file are about to find out, the Golden Rule of business is, he who has the gold, makes the rules.