Suspended: Down But Not Out

If you have listened to Pardon My Take today, you would know I have been suspended from both Macrodosing and PMT for 1 month till the 17th of July. I was suspended due to my disrespect to my fellow PMT members for not taking the podcast as seriously as I should. Mistakes were made, egos were bruised, and I take responsibility for all my actions. Not going to dwell here's my statement on the events. The Internet was brutal to look at this weekend sorry if I missed anything. 

Now come the consequences. Can't dwell and retreat, be a pussy, and shut down. that's how you lose. You gotta come up swinging. Comments and replies (fuck u Reddit even though I read you all the time) sucked this weekend, many warranted; thank you to the neuropsychologist who told me I might be autistic, or have a Traumatic Brain Injury that caused bad executive function or a sociopath who doesn't care. That was the worse one because instead of just talking about the most heinous worst shit that one could say about me, not being constructive, could just be ignored for extremism, this was a medical doctor who critiqued my actions and said I need to be institutionalized and treated. Maybe I do, but the truth hurts. That's why you keep fucking trucking. 

Suspension sucks for many of the obvious participation and FOMO reasons, but the worst for me personally is the lack of routine. Podcasting 5 days a week gave me a routine. Do you guys want to hear plans for growth? I thrive on routine. Routine is my strength. Having a strict schedule is always how I grew up. It may sound far-fetched from your guy's point of view, but I used to thrive under a strict routine. From all your points of view, you guys think I'm a fuck up with no discipline. Before Billy Football was on the internet, there was a William Cotter. He was pretty accomplished in the academics and athletic fields. In 2017 he took an internship that changed his life so drastically that he may not have the best coping mechanisms. I had success in places where the routine was constructed by others. But there was less routine in college and even less routine in Barstool. I hope you are not thinking I am making excuses but identifying exactly where I need to improve. I need to maintain discipline and integrity when in situations outside my routine and enforce my own routine on myself like I was someone else. During football season in my first year out of college(fall 2021), the schedule crafted rigid walls. Thursday night football, SNF, and MNF all allowed me to have a set-in-stone routine. In my first offseason not in college, I have been in many situations that throw me off my routine. With tons of work trips, and out-of-town projects you are working on, the changing of environment makes you neglect your routine and cause bad habits to form that return with you. This is not an excuse this is a note for future me. No one is perfect, and you guys have seen me, a man with no way to hide. I know some of you fucks who would have been in my same situation would have called in sick or claimed covid. I just can't hide. I went too hard at the Tribeca film festival, rolled the dice, and I'm paying my bets. I'm getting vulnerable, not looking for pity but to use this writing as inward reflection. Constructing and maintaining a strict routine will be crucial in my month of suspension. I will have 0 structure. I am thankfully allowed in the office and can create content, just not on either podcast. In this time, I must constantly create in a structure I CREATE. THE FIRST CREATION MUST BE A STRICT ROUTINE STRUCTURE.

The idea is that I was so ungrateful for the podcasts I was on that I now have to create content without PMT or Macrodosing because I was benefiting from the trickle-down from others who have large followings. Absolutely agree I did benefit. Yes, I totally know I could be crafted as a parasite that only benefits from latching onto others. But I could be a bitch and go quietly into the night and be a simp who tucks tail and begs for forgiveness to get back into everyone's good graces. I believe I can make good content solo. And I will go do that this coming week. That's what they think I can't do, and I will go do that.  If I fail, you will never see me again. I am down bad right now, but fortunately, I am confident to a fault (you know this through podcasts). It's a survival mechanism. It's the same mentality that made me walk into HQ2 and just say screw it, ill interview, no prep. Though I am sorry for my actions and would rather wish all this had never happened, I am kinda siked that I have tons of time to pursue content projects that I haven't been able to do, due to podcasting Sunday-Thursday and trying to get Tik Toks and blogs out on Friday when I finally have no commitments. Rather die stupid and hard-headed than scared and afraid. 

Here's a list of commitments I have been trying to do but have had no time to do that I will Pursue in my hiatus.

-13th round with Large

-Doing some crazy shit on camera with Chef Donny

-Interviewing all of the crazy characters on my list of dudes.

-Go Hunting with Sydnie Wells

-Working on my own Tik Tok because before, I basically used PMT as my own

-Blogging more because I have more time. Now I can beat the 100s of bloggers on the site to stories I like.

*sidenote Blogging is like fishing. The people who catch the most fish are the ones who are at the water the longest. You can't just show up to the pond after podcasting all day and find a fish immediately. You gotta put in the time to find the right story or right idea swimming along.

-LIFTING- and making lifting content. Making content when you are lifting takes 3x the time just lifting does. So when you need to lift, you just lift no content. 

-Lax content

-SOABD

-BWTB

-Chris Long's Green Light 

-Handball tournament

-Shootout for the troops (lax tournament with barstool guys)

-Streaming I-casino blackjack and other video games

-Work with Billy's List discord more

-Go to a shooting range and go shoot tons of guns for a video

-go fuck Rico (platonically)

-Cry (cuz mistakes that were made)

-Go look for RNR opponents who are suitable 

31 days to get it going.

Trying to be positive, but it really sucks, let a lot of people down and trying to find solutions.

Hercules was a story of redemption from ancient times. Killed his wife and kids, and had to do 12 godlike labors to get back in good graces.

  • Nemean lion
  • Lernaean Hydra
  • Ceryneian Hind
  • Erymanthian Boar
  • Augean stables
  • Stymphalian birds
  • Cretan Bull
  • Mares of Diomedes
  • Belt of Hippolyta
  • Cattle of Geryon
  • Golden Apples of the Hesperides
  • Cerberus

Hercules is balls to the wall. We are all living in a Mythos that ain't been written down yet.

 I am down but not out. I got 4 weeks. I ain't going out like no bitch. If you don't mind, I gotta go back to creating. Time to try to be funny again, take risks, and get something going.

Kerrick. Getty Images.