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China Claims They Picked Up Signals From Aliens, Then Quickly Deletes the Report

Source - China has claimed that it may have received a message from an alien civilisation. ...

Sky Eye, a 1,640-foot-diameter telescope based in China's Guizhou province, has detected unusual electromagnetic signals that scientists claim could have alien origins. 

The news was revealed in a report by Science and Technology Daily, the official newspaper of China's Ministry of Science and Technology, based in Beijing. 

'Sky Eye telescope may have picked up signs of life beyond Earth, according to a report by the state-backed Science and Technology Daily, which then appeared to have deleted the report and posts about the discovery,' Bloomberg says.

'The news had already started trending on social network Weibo and was picked up by other media outlets, including state-run ones.' ...

The team detected two sets of suspicious signals in 2020 while processing data collected in 2019, and found another suspicious signal in 2022 while observing exoplanets – planets outside our solar system.  

First of all, let me admit that I'm jealous. If this is indeed First Contact, I wanted the United States to be the ones to make it. Maybe it's just my jingoistic, America-centric, misplaced patriotism talking. But my world views has been shaped by depictions of advanced alien civilizations reaching out across the cosmic divide and meeting up with the good ol' U.S. of Frigging A. Close Encounters. The Day the Earth Stood Still. A good third of all Twilight Zone episodes. I know in Star Trek Starfleet is supposed to represent all of us, but James Tiberius Kirk is from Iowa. And was the consummate All American Male as he brought his patented brand of sex diplomacy to all that new life and new civilizations, boldly going where no Earthling penis had gone before. Even when they didn't us any good, like Superman 2, that was the President of the United States General Zod made kneel before him, not the Archduke of the Netherlands or whomever. Because he sized us up, saw where the son of Jor-El had moved to, and understood where his Kryptonian bread was buttered. 

But a more mature, enlightened me has to do the math. If you're looking at Earth through a long, long range telescope, it would take you about a minute to determine what your average human looks like. And statistically speaking, it would be someone in their mid-20s from Beijing or Shanghai, not some pale, doughy aging Irishman whose never lived more than 15 miles from Boston. To an alien, I'm living on a pimple on the ass end of the globe. Statistically insignificant. So they're going to answer China's call, not NASA's, no matter whose flag was planted on the moon 50 years ago. 

Still, this is a blow to our side. You never, ever, want to be the second one to make the acquaintance of somebody new to the area. Whether it's a new neighbor moving in, a coworker on their first day, the transfer student, the chick who's never been in the townie bar before. Because if there's one trait we all share, it's the ability to badmouth other humans. In his book Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, Yuval Noah Harari argues that we are hardwired for gossip. It's part of what makes us human. From dumping on that guy in your tribe who doesn't pull his weight in the hunt, but always seems to eat more than his share, to who fell asleep on guard duty to who's been sleeping around with whom while the spouse is out gathering. Harari's theory is that a society needs to know who can't be trusted, and the shame of all that whispering helps keep us in line. 

So by the time the Chinese is done telling the Science and Technology Daily what to say, it's going to be all around this exoplanet what a bunch of stupid, lazy, violent, irredeemable imbeciles we are. Which, while pretty much true, doesn't make it any fairer. We're probably already the ones with the social cooties in the galaxy. And we better start figuring out a way to show them the best of our culture. Rock 'n Roll. The Army-Navy game. BBQ. Batman: The Animated Series. Muscle cars. Hell, just beam them Top Gun: Maverick, and they'll step right over the Chinese to hang with us. Or, introduce them to Tom Cruise, whom they've probably already met. Better yet, Jennifer Connelly. Now or from 30 years ago:

Giphy Images.

Until then, this is bad. The CCP has the tightest possible grip on all information throughout the Chinese government. This getting out was not by accident. This was them waving to us while they're on the phone with their new best friends, boxing us out of the relationship and making damned sure we know it. We'll probably end up working for both of them someday very soon.