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Video: I Got A Full Brazilian Wax On IG Live And It Was Straight Up Not A Good Time

This weekend I'm heading down to Sea Isle City for my extended family's annual reunion/takeover and there's lots to do to prepare; Figuring out all the gear I'll need for our toddler, picking out which snacks & booze I want (Whistle Pig & Nooners of course), packing the car with Tetris-like vision, ensuring the cat sitter is all set, etc... but the thing I truly dread each year? The Brazilian Wax. 

Why do it for a family vacation? 

Well, certainly not for Pat. Once I tricked him into liking me that ship sailed. "Surprise, I'm gross 99% of the time but now we have a kid so you're stuck! Got yer goose!"

It's because I'll be chasing my son around in a bathing suit for hours on end & I don't need an aunt looking up from her Danielle Steel novel & seeing my strays flapping in the ocean breeze like a neglected, shredded windsock. Or a little cousin playing in the sand and then suddenly they're scarred for life when they look up as I stroll by. "What was that?"

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Having a smooth setup means I can be worry-free & not have to worry about upkeep while I'm there. It's worth the pain to me. And there truly is PAIN.

ANYWAYS, the appointment was set for this morning, and last night a way to possibly gain some followers for our ZeroBlog30 YouTube page occurred to me... If we got enough subscribers I'd go live for an eyebrow, lip & full Brazilian. 

The page is newer & it's taken us a bit to get to 10K, so I thought there was no way we'd actually gain 1,000 followers overnight.. sheistily I thought it'd be a quick gimmick to gain a couple hundred new folks with zero consequences on my end. (Plus I stand by the show - it's almost always fun & light & thus a win/win for subscribers either way!)

But lo & behold people began subscribing with a vengeance. 

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 Within a couple hours we hit 11K. 

And so, this morning at 9am I strolled into town, heart pounding like a jackhammer. (I've got a low tolerance for pain when it comes to getting hair ripped out of sensitive areas & the last time I went I had to stop her halfway and had sweat through 3 layers of clothing. Because of this, I only go a couple times a year, which makes it even worse.) Long story short, I was legit dying inside. 

Without further ado, here's the full version: 

And here's the short of it:

And now I'm heading into the office with my crotch on fire & a bright red mustache & unibrow, so I have that going for me, which is nice. Thanks to all who subscribed to ZBT & my love to anyone who was already following, too!

Side note: our summer Merch is up in the store now and I'm loving the pirate dog gear. Perfect for wearing down the shore WITHOUT shorts, since you don't have to worry about anything sticking out now.