Hey Pizza Hut, what the hell?
After being told roughly 9 billion times every NFL season since Papa John's got cancelled that NOBODY outpizzas The Hut, you let some dude in a toga body your ass ass so he could sling his sauce, cheese, and bread every given Sunday. What a goddamn joke.
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't be caught dead eating any of those pies on the Lord's day. That may sound like an obnoxious New Yorker's take on pizza, but it's not. I think Pizza Hut, Domino's, etc. are perfectly fine to eat when you are in the mood for some stuffed crust, cheesy bread, or another fast casual specialty creation while we all know what the internet thinks of Little Caesar's.
But you can't go around acting like the biggest dick in the pizza game then promptly get shoved off your corner advertising on the biggest sport in America. I guess there's a reason that these accounts always have fresh pictures.
As for Little Caesar, I wish you the best of luck while also imploring you to aim small, miss small with your commercials that will blitz my eyeballs for the foreseeable future. I implore you to make them funny, not include any annoying jingles, and don't break the bank signing a quarterback as a spokesman unless he has won a Super Bowl or at least locked up his second contract.
I know that Portnoy says No Free Ads and he'll probably get pissed that I fluffed an advertiser of his arch rival Goodell. So buy a t-shirt from Barstool's 4th of July collection to keep my ass off the hot seat for one more day.
My two favorites for the record: