Joe Burrow Referenced Batman v Superman, Backed Jessie Bates, And Talked Plenty Of Ball In Another Epic Press Conference

Is there a more likable/root for-able athlete than Joe Burrow right now? The Cincinnati Bengals are in their final week of organized team activities and are one of only two teams who won't hold a mandatory minicamp thereafter. Between the late start to their offseason program and lack of minicamp, you could say the reigning AFC champions are feeling pretty confident about the pieces they have in place to build on their run to Super Bowl LVI.

So yeah, I figure we'll be scraping the bottom of the barrel for a while when it comes to hashtag Who Dey content, and whenever Joey B takes the podium, you never know what kind of insightful answers or unexpected twists you'll get. Just as he delivers dimes on the gridiron, Burrow didn't fucking miss during Tuesday's presser on a litany of topics.

Let me start with the superhero fare. When asked about his favorite superheroes, Burrow explained that he really liked Spider-Man growing up, but that the Batman movies are the best. He then referenced how Ben Affleck's nihilistic Batman defeated Superman in a fight during the events of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice — Ultimate Edition, also remarking that the mightiest superhero Superman wasn't "tough enough" to beat a non-super-powered Gotham Knight.

You'll notice I made a key distinction there. The ultimate edition that Warner Bros. executives reportedly gave a standing ovation to at a screening was deemed too lengthy for theatrical release. Some 30 minutes or so of footage was cut, scenes in the first act were shuffled around/axed, and from the get-go, the Batman v Superman that disappointed at the box office was in trouble from a narrative standpoint, never mind the broken, killing Batman most people misunderstood. Many of the film's harshest critics probably aren't even aware of an Ultimate Edition. They just ignorantly make MARTHA jokes, etc.

So the fact that Burrow stated how Batman movies are the best, and then referenced Batman defeating Superman in said movie, makes me like him even more and suspect he has more refined artistic taste than most of the plebs/simpletons who blindly rage and hate against Zack Snyder. Wait till you get a load of Snyder's Star Wars-inspired Rebel Moon. You heard it here first. That shit is going to be straight fire. No one is ready for it.

I could talk about Batman v Superman for a long time and why, again, the Ultimate Edition is actually really good, but let's move on.

FOOTBALL-RELATED STUFF: Bengals franchise-tagged safety Jessie Bates has been away from the team, hoping to work out a long-term contract extension. Multiple teammates have spoken out in public support of him. Burrow couldn't have given Bates more of a ringing endorsement — and is even taking a trip with him to Vegas soon to build on their relationship:

Bates deflected the ball away from Tyreek Hill in overtime of the AFC Championship Game, allowing Vonn Bell to make what would essentially be a victory-sealing interception. It's one of the most incredible individual plays you'll ever see from a defensive back. With Bates and Bell due for free agency next year, Cincinnati wisely spent a first-round pick on former Michigan DB Daxton Hill, who can line up just about anywhere on the back end and have success.

As Burrow refers to here, though, Bates has been around since the beginning of this Bengals rebuild under head coach Zac Taylor, and was with the team beginning in 2018. Even while the team posted records of 6-10, 2-14 and 4-11-1 across three seasons, one of the bright spots was Bates' development. It's a testament to the culture Cincinnati is building, and Bates' own work ethic and skill, that he's turned into one of the NFL's better safeties.

Obviously, a massive payday is on the horizon for Burrow in the next year or two, and the Bengals can't keep all their own talent, or so you'd think. In typical Joe Cool fashion, Burrow shrugged off any speculation about his eventual payday and is staying in the moment for the 2022 season.

Oh by the way, we saw Burrow go down in the Super Bowl with a banged-up knee yet again behind that previously porous offensive line. A couple notes on that: New center Ted Karras is drawing strong reviews from his QB, as Burrow said Karras is a "loud leader up front […] above and beyond what you could ask for." 

One of the more exciting tidbits is that Burrow's wheels are functioning at full capacity. For a guy who tore his ACL and MCL and had other structural knee damage in November 2020 and had another knee issue pop up this past year, the following data point is beyond impressive:

For a little context: Per Next Gen Stats, the fastest Bengals ball-carrier in 2021 was Ja'Marr Chase, who topped out at 21.74 mph on his 72-yard TD in Week 17 against the Chiefs. I KNOW, Chase did it in a game situation with full pads and all that. Not sure what gear if any Burrow was rocking in a post-practice sprint. I'm also aware Burrow won't be making like another AFC North QB like Lamar Jackson and taking off to run every third play. That ain't his MO. Let's not bury the lede here, though. Joe's knees are good to go.

Speaking of other field generals in the division, you couldn't have had a more stark contrast between Burrow and the man who has been rewarded with a massive guaranteed contract in Cleveland. As Browns QB Deshaun Watson bumbled his way through a presser on Tuesday, Burrow couldn't have given off more confidence. 

You would have no idea this guy got the shit knocked out of him for two seasons and lost a Super Bowl in heartbreaking fashion. It's full steam ahead, all systems go, no superfluous distractions. Joe Brr is a stone-cold killer.

Oh hey Joe, could you give us a little tidbit on how the offense is potentially going to evolve — even after leading the NFL in completion percentage and yards per attempt behind an o-line that ranked 30th in pass block win rate? Why yes, yes he can.

Aaaaand to close things out, how about a brief bit on gun reform, Joe? Oh you've got…oh you've got a fantastic answer for that too. OK.

I need football season to get here please send help. Joe Burrow is about to be the NFL MVP and show what he's fully capable of. I'm telling you. Zack Snyder's Rebel Moon and Joe Burrow's 2022 season. None of you are ready.