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Mr. Portnoy Has Had Enough Of People Trying To Sell Him Things While He Watches The News

On today's Pardon My Take... MR. PORTNOY! One of the most popular recurring guests of the show joined Mr. Cat and Mr. Commenter on the show to discuss his newest complaint and everything else going on in his world. The bottom line is this: Mr. Portnoy does not enjoy watching the news these days, but not for the reasons you may think. Here is what he had to say on today's show...

Mr. Portnoy: Well, I could discuss the state of journalism in America. I'll tell you one thing that I have a general complaint... I can't turn on the TV anymore, on CNN or one of these other channels, regardless of their political leanings, I can't! ... Because the ads drive me bananas. 

Mr. Cat: Wait... wait...

Mr. Commenter: Not the news.

Mr. Cat: Not the news.

Mr. Commenter: "I fucking hate this My Pillow guy."

Mr. Portnoy: Say that again.

Mr. Cat: It's not the news, it has nothing to do with the news.

Mr. Portnoy: No! Nothing to do. I'm sick of William Shatner, Joe Namath, Chris Berman, CarShield, Ernie Hudson, Jimmie "J.J" Walker, trying to sell me stuff. If they can give me a better deal on my social security. What about my car? What about CarShield? You better get a car because something's going to go wrong if you don't buy CarShield today.

Mr. Portnoy: Thank you Joe Namath. Thank you Chris Berman. You better do this. All of these has-been's, all of them, have one thing in common. I hate to say it about Joe William Namath, but you folks know this. If you've got an ounce of common sense, you don't go in thee ads for these crazy companies unless you need the dough. And when you're talking about somebody like… should Joe Namath need money? I hope not. 

Mr. Cat: he might, he might.

Mr. Commenter: The guy gets around town. 

Mr. Cat: Yeah, he might.

Mr. Portnoy: What about William Shatner? He goes to the moon. 

Mr. Cat: Yeah, that's true. That one's weird. And Chris Berman, I would say, probably doesn't need the money. He just, you know, 

Mr. Commenter: He likes to be on TV. 

Mr. Cat: Yeah, he's on TV. This is so great, though. We need more of this in America right now where everyone's divided it's, "We can get behind the news sucks because of the commercials, not the news."

Don't you dare try to sell things to Mr. Portnoy while is trying to watch the news. Don't you dare! It is hard not to crack up whenever this longtime recurring guest joins Mr. Cat and Mr. Commenter. It's always a fun time.