Build Your Perfect Media Company From These Choices (Hard!)

Tommy Smokes6/13/2022 5:30 PM

On last week's Dave Portnoy show, there was a debate about Barstool's depth of talent and how we stack up against other media companies. The show tweeted out this graphic on Friday, and I couldn't help but notice one glaring problem. Where was Smokes? We're debating the 25 best entertainment talents in the country and the T-Man gets omitted? Had to be an honest mistake. But I decided to come up with an even more difficult challenge (with the help of Quigs).

Holy shit this is hard! Let's go row by row and see what the best choices are.

-Broadcaster Tommy has quite a resume. Called baseball, basketball, and football games in college. Was a beat reporter for the Yankees, Giants, Rangers, and Knicks. Has called March Madness games for Barstool. The list goes on. A true capital J Journalist in every sense of the word.

-Hooper Tommy plays the games instead of calling them. And he is a PROBLEM on the court. The scouting report: sometimes hits wide open shots if they're not too far way. Not good at layups. Does not pass. Does not play defense. Only gets rebounds if they fall directly into his hands.

-Baseball fan Tommy is passionate and prone to physical spasms. Calls Gary Sanchez a "fat slob." Sometimes doesn't pick up Chinese food after himself.

-Fitness Tommy is a strong, muscular, alpha. Although some have called him "gross." His journey was inspirational.

-Gambler Tommy has the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. At his peaks, he is a good luck charm more powerful than any force on this planet. At his worst, he is a used cum rag.

-StoolTeam6 Tommy was a dancing phenom who could break down moves with the best of them.

-Networking Tommy and Josh Richards are basically best friends.

-Thought Provoking Tommy had a good run but he unfortunately is no longer allowed to think per company guidlines.

-People forget I was an original co-host of BFFs.

-And relationship TikToker Tommy shows guys everywhere how to manage a relationship with awful girlfriends like Hannah.

-Prank call Tommy is a menace with an incredible kill list of victims.

-Fashion Tommy is an amazing influencer who sometimes wears Cheetah prints. He may or may not one day get a makeover from Call Her Daddy.

-Party Animal Vlogger Tommy goes to Vegas and fucks TONS of chicks!

-Journalist Tommy goes to Vape Expos to get the latest on their "life saving" industry even though everyone there wants to beat him up really bad.

-And comedic skit director Tommy is a relatively new add since "The Smokes Show" started. Although Rone is technically the director and Executive Producer and I am merely his muse. Watch all episodes HERE.

-Urban Podcaster Tommy has been a frequent guest on The Tiko Ten. Tiko once described him as "the cool white guy who don't have to pretend to be black to be cool. He would be invited to the cookout for sure." Best compliment I've ever received to be honest.

-Short Porch Tommy and Snuffing Torches Tommy are just guys passionate about their favorite things: the Yankees and Survivor.

-Call Him Mommy Tommy technically gets you two different Tommys as I play two different characters.

-Bachelorette Analyst Tommy spills ALL the tea on love.