If Your Team Is Looking To Sign Phil Kessel This Summer, You Better Have A 2 Liter Of Soda Waiting For Him In The Locker Room Every Morning
Soda kicks ass. No doubt about it. An ice cold can of cola on a hot summer's day? Sign me up, pal. It's fizzy, it's refreshing, it's delicious.
But how much could one man possibly love soda? Sure, it's a tasty treat here and there. But is it really THAT great?
According to Phil Kessel, his love for soda is worth approximately $64 million. Because that's how much his 8-year contract he signed with the Toronto Maple Leafs was worth when it signed in October of 2013. And that's how much he was willing to walk away from if Randy Carlyle didn't let the boys gas some Coca-Cola in the locker room when he got hired in Toronto.
What a story. What a legend. That's why Chiclets is the best in the business. To get guys like John-Michael Liles to let us on the inside of potentially one of the biggest moments in NHL history. If Randy Carlyle tells Phil Kessel he can't hammer Coke between periods, who knows what happens from there. He quits hockey, never ends up in Pittsburgh, never becomes a 2x Stanley Cup Champion. Maybe Sid ends up leaving Pittsburgh and the Penguins have to relocate. The entire landscape of the National Hockey League could have changed forever if Phil couldn't suck don't a bottle of pop before practice. I'm sure there's an alternate universe out there where that's the case, and I'm just glad we're not living in it. Because that means we still get to watch Phil The Thrill go out there and be a total beauty. And if you want that beauty on your roster next season, just go ahead and bring the man his own soda dispenser machine when you offer him the contract.
Sidenote: It's hilarious how guys like Nathan MacKinnon and Phil Kessel can both exist at the same time. One guy will literally murder you and your entire family if you even look at a can of soda during the season, the other guy will quit playing hockey all together if he can't get a few squirts of coke on the bench during games. One guy is a 2x Stanley Cup Champion, the other is not. Really makes you think.