Lighten the Fuck Up! A Recently Divorced Man Decided to go to a Titty Bar...

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A recently divorced man decided to go to a Titty Bar and after watching exotic pole dancers perform all night, while driving home he suddenly became very aroused…

As he drove past a pumpkin patch he thought to himself, “Pumpkins are soft and squishy and there’s no one around for miles…"

He pulled over and grabbed the softest pumpkin he could find, one that was pleasantly plump and reminded him of his ex. He cut the perfect hole and the mere sight of it began to stoke his erotic desires…

With several drinks in him clouding his judgment and a healthy but unsatisfied libido, he felt absolutely no shame in pounding a pumpkin…

He dropped his drawers, grabbed the long, thick stem with one hand and the back of the pumpkin with the other, and was pounding it hard and didn’t notice the police cruiser that'd pulled up behind him…

The cop got out of the cruiser, walked up to him, and interrupted, “Excuse me, sir, do you realize you’re fucking a pumpkin?”

The man looked up at the cop in complete horror and replied, “A pumpkin? Damn, it's midnight already?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968 (and riding motorcycles since 1972)                                                                           

Celebrate the One-Year Anniversary of "Lighten the Fuck Up!" by purchasing an LTFU stretch-fit cap or short-sleeve tee and send a message to the world… (This is LTFU joke #93)