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SCIENCE: Tall People Are Gonna Die! If You're Taller Than 5'9" You Are At Risk For 100 More Health Problems Than The Shorts

Mail Online - Tall people are at greater risk of more than 100 health problems, according to the largest study of its kind.

Researchers looked at more than 1,000 conditions among 250,000 white, Hispanic and black men and women in the US.

They found being tall was associated with a higher risk of irregular heartbeats, varicose veins, nerve damage and foot ulcers. Tall people — defined as those 5ft 9 or above — were also more prone to skin and bone infections.

The authors of the new study now say height could be an unrecognised risk factor for several common conditions in adults, but added further work is needed to confirm their findings. 

In the study, researchers used a genetic and health database called the VA Million Veteran Program which includes data from around 280,000 Americans. 

In their study 91 per cent of the participants were men due to database consisting of former members of th4e armed forces.

"The meek shall inherit the Earth" - God Psalms 37:11

Big win for all the short kings out there. 


To quote another god with a lowercase g, Justin Randall Timberlake, "what goes around comes around"

(Sidebar - what a heat rock)



For eons and eons the shorts have got the short end of the stick. We're talking since cavemen times. Overlooked for mating purposes, last to eat, you name it. All the way to today. We're talking childhood through adulthood. Last picked on the playground. Never got the hottest girls that all wanted the tall jocks. There are even studies claiming taller people get picked for promotions over more qualified short people

As a former short myself, (back in high school I was like 5'3" until the summer going into my senior year. I inexplicably grew like a foot and showed up first day of my senior year unrecognizable. It was pretty cool not getting picked on anymore, pushed around in gym, and finally noticed by girls, but it was all too little too late (pun intended)) I get it. Shit sucks. 

It's a tall man's world. 

Or so we thought.

Turns out now, according to science, the tall people of the world are fucked. FUCKED!

Giphy Images.

Taller people have longer limbs. Longer limbs mean longer routes for the blood to travel to and from the heart. Meaning a whole host of issues arise. It's science bro. 

But that's just the beginning of it. 

Publishing their findings in PLOS Genetics, the scientists confirmed previous research linking being tall to a higher risk of atrial fibrillation (irregular heartbeat) and varicose veins.

But scientists also uncovered new links between health problems and height.

These included peripheral neuropathy, a condition where nerves in the body's extremities, such as the hands, feet and arms become damaged.

Other conditions the scientists found new links to height included an increased risk of bone infections and leg and foot ulcers.

Lead author of the study Dr Sridharan Raghavan told MailOnline that in total they identified between 100-110 distinct health conditions linked to being tall.

He added: 'We conclude that height may be an unrecognised non-modifiable risk factor for several common conditions in adults.'

So all you short people out there live it up. This is your day. Now is your time. 

Somewhere Verne Troyer is looking down on the world smiling.