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Myles Garrett Is Taking The Browns Defense To South Beach This Weekend

Who let the DAWGS out??? Folks, Myles Garrett is. A Clevelander taking his talents to South Beach....except unlike the previous instance, this time I LOVE IT. No burning jerseys, no letters written in comic sans, just some good old fashioned team bonding in a quiet, private little abode called MIAMI.

I want these boys absolutely living it up down there. Forget OBJ and that stupid boat pic. I want this to be the trip of a lifetime. A weekend that our boys look back on in February, when needing to trust one another before the Super Bowl, they can think….yeah, we've been through it all together.  

I have no idea what these boys are going to do down there this weekend, but I do know one thing: it's for the DEFENSE ONLY. The Offense already had their vacation.

My goodness. Is there a better team to be on right now than the Cleveland Browns? Myles Garrett and Deshaun Watson making sure all of their dogs are eating.  I just hope the defense's expectations are a little more mild though. Remember, Myles Garrett only signed a $125 million dollar extension, compared to Deshaun's $230 million. The offense was probably drinking margaritas on the beach with the finest tequilas on the island. The defense is likely going to have something just as tasty but much more affordable for the consumer, like coolers full of High Noons. And maybe Denzel Ward can pitch in for a couple Ubers?

Cade York, the kicker we just selected in the 4th round, is officially on the clock. Where's he taking the Special Teams?

A day trip to Lake Erie seems reasonable.