I'm gonna honest with you guys. I still have noooooo fucking clue how the hell I pulled that answer out of the bottom of my snacking soul. The Dozen is always a pressure cooker let alone during The Dozen Tournament where the game is live, the lights are bright, and you are cooked for the season if you lose a game while all your coworkers are watching live on TV on the other side of the office. Add in the extra pressure of having your boss as your teammate and people calling you The Snack God because you occasionally get some answers correct on an internet trivia show.
That's not to say I don't know a lot about snacks. I mean look at my lumpy body. Of course I do! But I'm simply not a big shortbread cookie guy and the only shortbreads I could think of were the Chessmen cookies from Pepperidge Farm, which were obviously not the answer.
However I knew the clock was counting down, Portnoy was glaring a hole through my body (which trust me requires A LOT of glaring), and I had to throw some sort of Hail Mary out there so we could maybe land a point in a game where every single one of them matters. So I somehow went to another plane of mental existence to and saw a box of cookies in my mind's eye that I haven't seen since I was a child when our family friends would always bring them on vacation with us, which is one of the very very veryyyyy few times I would pass on eating cookies, then randomly screamed "Sandies" like I'm Stu Feiner any given morning before getting a head rush, again like Stu Feiner any given morning.
You know shit is crazy when the host that has seen thousands of answers over the last two years reacts like this.
Or you boop your boss on the nose in a moment of excitement later in the game.
I will never understand how I pulled that answer out of my brain from where there was nothing but darkness beforehand. It was one of the weirdest experiences my dumb brain has ever gone through and the only thing I can compare this to is Frank The Tank (the movie character, not the guy that is always wrong about the Mets) blacking out and leaving his body to answer the debate question.
Jeff has clearly built an absolute powerhouse of a show and trust me, there are some UNBELIEVABLE moments coming up in a bunch of the matches in the coming days. If you missed the wildly entertaining showdown between urMom and Ziti, check out the full match below.
P.S. I would like to take wrap things up by apologizing to the hard working elves at Keebler for an incorrect statement I made in the heat of battle. I do fuck with more Keebler cookies outside of E.L. Fudge (the double stuff version of them are incredible). I also enjoy Grasshoppers, Deluxe Grahams, Soft Batch, and have been a fan of Vienna Fingers since they were baked by the Sunshine brand, which I believe was recently a question on The Dozen. I don't fuck with the Coconut Dreams however since they are blatant Samoas wannabes and I am the father of the Scarface of Girl Scout Cookies here in the Hudson Valley.