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Here's The Reason I Cannot Be On #TeamHank

I have had a helluva last 6 or 7 weeks. Turkey Hunting, Boston and NYC trips, the White Sox are actively trying to cripple my welfare, psyche, and brand and I had to sit on a podcast and talk about the most disgusting human behaviors last week:

Now, I'm very on record as having a weak stomach. I don't like gross stuff. I know I'm gross and it doesn't make sense but for instance, I puked my brains out when my asshole friends talked me into watching Tub Girl and 2 girls, 1 cup back in college. I just can't do that kinda stuff. I even puked my brains out when Sydnie Wells gutted Carl, the deer I killed last fall. 

I know a lot of the office chatter this past week was about inner-office relationships. It just reinforced my thankfulness that we are on an island out here in Chicago and can mostly avoid all of the bullshit that seems to come and go in the larger NYC office. I didn't feel the need to chime in on any of that because it's not my business in any way. Quite frankly...

…but I do abide by social rules, typically, so I guess that means you can say I was (keyword) hashtag Team Hank. 

But I'm not anymore. Remember how I said I abide by social rules a sentence ago? Hank may abide by some, but not all. Case in point: 

Absolutely vile, barbaric, caveman behavior. I'm also very on record as not being a "feet guy". Been bitching at Chief for years about this barbarism. But Hank too? If you're packed into a vacuum sealed tube with 200+ other people and you feel like it's appropriate to take your shoes and socks off and stink up the living area of the people next to and around you for 2+ hours, you deserve to be shot in the head. 

Now, Hank is a colleague of mine. I'm not saying I want Hank dead. I'm just saying I'm no longer #TeamHank. Can't go into a foxhole with a guy that will take off his shoes and spread his trench foot and gangrene all over the other soldiers. How are you supposed to defend the wall like that? 

You can't. 

Nevertheless, the "Disgusting Moves" snake draft is LIVE! 

PS - sorry for the clickbait headline