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When Is It Acceptable To Take Your Shoes Off On An Airplane?

Big snake draft discussion this week about grossest moves a person can make. Clipping toe nails, hacking loogies and leaving them in the fountain, spitters, popping zits, etc. Once again, WSD and the rest of the raccoons tried to slander me. What I did to deserve the treatment I get on these drafts I will never understand. No matter, I am righteous. I always tell the truth as best I can on those drafts and let the chips fall where they may as is evidence with this clip

If your tastebuds graduated the 3rd grade and you're not simply googling results to fake your way to winning a popularity contest then congratulations, you've made it to the Burrata Gang. Once again, I have to stand up for what is probably an unpopular take or a take people are too afraid to say out loud...taking your shoes off on an airplane is acceptable behavior. The Handsome One agrees

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Being on an airplane is all about decorum. It's about respect for your fellow passenger as you're hurtling through the air at 500mph at 30,000 feet above sea level. You don't stand up to rush off the plane, you don't eat stinky food, you abide by the unwritten armrest laws, and if you're a man you help the short old ladies get their bag out of the overhead bin because that just speeds up the entire de-plane process. 

I want to make a few stipulations

1) the flight should be over 3.5 hours if you're going to relax your feet. ORD to LGA doesn't require you to take your shoes off. 

2) You need to have self-awareness to know if your shoes/feet smell or if your socks are gross and if they are your shoes stay on. You should know if they stink or not because 30 mins earlier TSA forced you to take them off in order to get on the plane. 

3) Once your shoes are off they must stay under the seat in front of you like a carry-on. You can't be walking around the cabin or sticking them in between the seats in front of you. 

If you check those three boxes then let those puppies breathe and stretch. It is a LONG flight. You need to get comfortable. You need to relax. You need to have good circulation in a pressurized cabin. Taking your shoes off is borderline a health requirement. If you think it is unsanitary, well, you might be right, but there's a ZILLION other things on a flight that are more gross than simply socks underneath the seat. The recirculated air is more likely to give you issues than a strangers feet. A quick google search will show you how gross the ice is on a plane

But whatever you do, be sure to order your drink without ice.

Why? Studies have shown that containers full of ice in airplane beverage carts—including hotels, restaurants, and fast food joints—can be loaded with bacteria. In fact, ice is the worst thing you can order on an airplane. Here are more reasons you'll want to skip the ice and play it safe on your next trip.

How about the bathrooms? Turbulent flight bathrooms? How about take a second and think about all the farts, sneezes, fucking hair or dandruff or dust which came from the 200+ people on the flight before you. Of the list of disgusting things about flying someone's shoes being off and their feet neatly tucked below the seat in front of them covered with socks probably shouldn't crack the top 10. I don't want to look at anyone's feet either, but to avoid that situation on a plane I simply don't stick my head underneath their seat. Clean socks aren't gross. Men wearing shorts on a plane are way more gross than socks.