Advertisement

Bionic Reading Might Change The World As We Know It And Save All Of Us Who Read At a Snail's Pace

Bettmann. Getty Images.

Full trust tree here. One of my least favorite things to do is reading. Even if you tell me the book is way better than the movie, I'm going to watch the movie only 10 out of 10 times. I know that seems odd considering a big part of my job here has to do with that activity, but it's just the truth. It's more the long form reading that makes my brain want to turn off, but bizarre nonetheless for sure. 

I once dragged my mom to the midnight release of Harry Potter and the Golbet of Fire. Not the movie release, the book. We went to Barnes and Nobles at midnight just to be one of the first to get our hands on the book. I ended up reading only the last page before never picking the book up again. Throughout my time in any level of school I would struggle to set aside any kind of time to sit down and read a book or lengthy short story/article for an assignment. I read a page and then think about how much I'd rather do anything else, and then I go do it. My GPA certainly reflected those actions and it's a miracle I've made it this far. 

Well, now we've got BIONIC READING and buddy does this thing change the whole fucking ball game. Try this out. If it doesn't work the first time, try reading it out loud, that's what really did it for me. 

I mean what the fuck just happened? Straight up witchcraft I'll tell ya. I feel like I was just injected with adderrall or the NZT drug from Limitless. It's like I was swinging a baseball bat with a donut and now the thing feels three pounds heavy. 

Now I'm sure this won't work for a few of you and for that I'm sorry for wasting your time. From reading the replies and comments there are certainly some that don't see a difference, but for the most part it does actually work which is nuts. Did we just solve reading? I mean no one can fix a guy with Mush's brain from failing to recognize the letters in general, but for the normal stupid people maybe there is hope here. 

I need Google to add an extension for this pronto.