The Carolina Panthers Schedule Release Video Was An Artistic Nostalgia Masterpiece For Children Of The 90s
I've seen enough! Put whoever is in charge of the Carolina Panthers social media account in charge of the roster as well because those motherfuckers DO NOT MISS and sure as shit wouldn't have broken the bank for two years of Sam Darnold.
I know that the schedule release was last night and has already been covered to death on the internet. But as an Old that lived through those beautiful times, I just had to shout out whoever put that video together. Actually the word "video" doesn't even do that justice. That shit was a short film and should win an Oscar. Not a fake ass Internet Emmy or even a real Emmy. But an actual Oscar worthy of the applause of Hollywood's A-Listers along with what'll be 1000 slap jokes. I would have felt that way if this video simply hit me with some old school kicks, some Excitebike, and the beautiful musical stylings of Montell Jordan ("Return Of The Mack" is the only song that could've possibly trumped "This Is How We Do It").
But that piece of art was so much deeper. I could feel the excitement when that Limewire looking screen popped up while also hoping the porn I was downloading was actually the right video. I could taste the Pizza Bagels and mentally tried to figure out the perfect amount of frosting to use on each Dunkaroo to make sure I didn't run out or had to savagely dip my finger in it to eat the extra. And I could even feel the unbridled rage trying to put together Mouse Trap only to play it once then swear it off for life. Damn I miss the 90s.