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Lighten the Fuck Up! Catherine Was A Gym Rat and in Great Shape...

Giphy Images.

John and Catherine had been married going on twenty-five years. They had two beautiful children and had always been very happy; the perfect couple. 

One glorious summer morning they were having breakfast on the back patio, and while John was finishing his coffee and reading the Sunday paper, Catherine began asking him some pretty serious questions…

"If I were to die, John, would you remarry?"

"Catherine, we're having a wonderful breakfast, why bring up such a dark subject? You're as healthy as the day I met you, maybe healthier. You're a gym rat and in great shape, you haven't aged a bit, and you're not gonna die anytime soon…"

"Maybe not, John, but I still want to know if you'd get remarried if I were to die unexpectedly…"

"Well, I suppose I would eventually remarry, but not right away…"

"Would you sell our house and buy a new one, John?"

"Of course not, Catherine, don't be silly! This is our house and I'd want to preserve all our memories and by staying here I would think of you every day, my love…"

"Would you sell our bed and buy a new one, John?"

"Absolutely not, Catherine! There's nothing wrong with our bed. I'd keep it and go to sleep every night thinking of you, my dear…"

"Would you let your new wife use my golf clubs, John?"

"Never! Those are your clubs, the ones I bought you for your 40th birthday. I would honor your memory by keeping those clubs out of anybody else's hands. Besides, she's left-handed…"                                                                                                                                                        

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968 (and riding motorcycles since 1972)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Celebrate the One-Year Anniversary of "Lighten the Fuck Up!" by purchasing a stretch-fit cap or short-sleeve tee and send a message to the world… (This is LTFU joke #85)