Father's Day Collection | All-New T-Shirts, Hats, Polos, Hoodies, Crewnecks Now AvailableSHOP NOW

Just When You Thought The Stanley Cup Playoffs Couldn't Get Any Greasier...

Gregg Forwerck. Getty Images.

Things were getting a little out of hand on night 1 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. We had guys trying to send people to the hospital after burying them directly in the numbers into the glass. We had crosschecks to the ankles. Line brawls, sucker punches, you name it. 

If you thought maybe a night between games would help any of these guys cool off a bit and allow their wires to uncross, you'd be violently mistaken. Because the fellas hopped right back in the deep fryer last night and came out even greasier for game 2. 

First up we'll start with the Boston Bruins who are just gooning it up at this point since there's no shot they can keep up with Carolina any other way. The team can't score so they figured their best course of action would be to take out Antti Raanta, which is exactly what David Pastrnak did here. 

I know Bruins fans are going to say some shit like "he was bracing so he didn't get hit by the puck". But Pasta skates full speed into Raanta, makes literally zero effort whatsoever to avoid him, puts his hands up and bulldozes his over. It's reckless at best. Unfortunately for the Bruins, taking out Carolina's goalie isn't going to make up for the fact that their own stinks and gave up 5 goals again. But when the going gets tough, the rats get going. 

You ever notice how every instance of these Brad Marchand antics always happens after the whistle is already blown? Crosschecks a rookie goalie who entered the game in relief of the starting goalie that Boston already injured. Gets a little shot back and then proceeds to two-hand slash the guy in the body. Always after the whistle. 

And speaking of guys getting a little chippy with their sticks, how about Michael Bunting spearing Cernak in the nuts?

I suppose if you want to win the Stanley Cup, you better be wearing one. 

But you can't go around spearing dudes in the dick. You just can't. Slash guys in the leg, maybe a kidney shot here and there. But the dick? C'mon, man. Have some pride. 

I love the intensity of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Every shift means more, every hit means more. You have 7 possible games to remain on the quest to win the greatest trophy in sports, or your season is over. But let's get back to focusing on big time hits in big time moments. Like that Svechnikov hit, for example. Real shitty result there with Lindholm getting injured. But that's just a good clean hit with a big body like Svechnikov finishing his check. 

It's totally possible to feel bad for Lindholm while also admitting that's just good, clean playoff hockey right there. A shoulder through the body is a helluva lot different than a stick blade to the scrotum.