Realtor: Keller Williams Citywide, Gregory Erlanger 216-916-7778
Alright I guess we should address the elephant in the room from the beginning: it's only a mere 4 bedrooms. I know that the housing market is hotter than it's ever been, and I know the elites of this country are flocking from Manhattan and San Francisco by the boatload to find a place in northeast Ohio, but $3.3 million still sounds like a steep price for only 4 bedrooms. This immediately rules out not only the Phillip Rivers and Antonio Cromarties of the world, but also anyone with more than 2 or 3 kids that wants to be able to host a guest. Not ideal. HOWEVER, if you're okay with putting bunkbeds in a multi-million dollar mansion, I think you'll find some very appealing other features to this house.
The Shoe Room
Does it come with the kicks? Because that's $3.3 million of shoes right there. In fact, I'm pretty sure owning this room gives you about a 40% stake in Foot Locker. That's a drive-in shoe closet right there. And this is an outrageous amount of shoes, to the point where OBJ had to be taking 30 to 45 minutes per day just to decide what to wear. Literally has two revolving chairs installed in the middle of the room so you can sit down and think about it.
Practical. Correction: very practical. And honestly, probably extremely cost efficient as well. I've got a haircut scheduled for later this afternoon that is going to run me $19.99 before coupon. Yeah, $3.3 million might be a lot of up front cost, but think about what you could save in the long run if your significant other learns how to shape you up right at home.
The Pool (With Slide)
Love the long and narrow pool design. All of the benefits of a regular pool, but with an added bonus of lap swimming for exercise and/or races.
The Multi-Purpose Movie Theatre / Golf Simulator Room
Eh, I've seen better home theaters. I think you gotta decide what you want here: a place to watch movies or a place to hit golf balls. Because the furniture is simply too far away -- unless you want to move that $24.99 chair on the right up to the projection screen.
The Kitchen / Vino Collection
Lots of rumors circulating that the Lakers GM and severe alcoholic, LeBron James, may decide he wants to come back to Cleveland, and seeing this easily accessible wall of wine is for sale has to make that even more likely. Might not be a better kitchen in America to enjoy a bottle of wine with your Fruity Pebbles.
The Gym (Pictured Here)
Seems a little weak for someone who signed a $41 million guaranteed contract based on his athletic performance. Don't get me wrong, I could manage with this as my personal home gym, but I'd have expected a better than this for OBJ. A cement floor…..? No one is playing basketball on that.
More wine. Love that. Clearly lit top shelf liquor. 5 barstools. And do I see some pinball in the back?
The Gamer Room (Bottom Left)
Not necessarily my style, but I could see how a family with a single 12 year old child might really love this room.
The Living Room (Pictured Here)
I have no comment on the furniture or lighting or space or whatever that actually matters, but I do find it funny that the two jerseys he chooses to display are Jarvis Landry and Tom Brady. Because the differences between their two relationships could not be more drastically different. Jarvis is his college teammate and best friend. I get that. Tom Brady is the most no-nonsense QB of all time, and OBJ is the biggest drama queen to walk the Earth. OBJ definitely asked for that jersey. I'd be shocked if Tom asked for the swap.
Water Filtration System
I also don't know anything about water filtration systems, but by the look of this + them including it as a main feature of the house, I agree that I'd love to try a glass from the faucet at this place. I bet it tastes like it's straight from the glaciers themselves.
Alright, here's my take: $3.3 million for this house actually seems abnormally cheap. Put this house in Florida or California and it's $50 million minimum. That's just another reason why I love the Midwest.
**OBJ bought this house in 2019 for $1.6 million. Not a bad 3 year $1.7 million value appreciation…