Massive Brawl Breaks Out In The Wrigley Field Bleachers Tonight That Ends With The 1st Ever Shoe Delay
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Big story out of the Cubs game tonight is not the 4-3 loss to an underwhelming Pirates team but rather this 5 man kerfuffle in the left center bleachers. Sources on the ground said it resembled a hastily choreographed movie fight scene. Guys coming out of nowhere. Bodies tumbling across rows and down stairs. Beers flying everywhere with babies crying in the background.
A lot of people expect me to scold the Cubs for over policing the height of cup snakes while turning a blind eye to this kind of behavior but I won't do it. Let the herd regulate itself just as mother nature intended. That's plenty fine by me.
What I want to focus on instead is that this ends with a shoe on the field. One of the guys lost a shoe. And they stopped the game for it and everything. Never seen anything like it. Somebody get me this shoe.
It would also be nice if I could get everyone to agree that there's No Fighting In The Bleachers. We've been down this path before and I would like to remind everyone that just because it's a new year doesn't mean we get to punch each other in the face. I know you didn't start it and it's the other guy's fault. Blah blah blah. Just please for the love of God knock this shot off because we got some baseball to play ladies. If you guys aren't fighting about 2-out hitting then everybody just shut the fuck up and watch the game. Save that shit for that 35th street.