Philadelphia's Newest Mascot, Blob, Is Here And He's Hideous And He's Perfect

Jordie4/15/2022 5:15 PM

There's not another city on god's green Earth who does mascots like Philly does. Granted, I hate the shit out of Gritty right now. But between Gritty

The Phillie Phanatic

Swoop

Icon Sportswire. Getty Images.

This dumbass looking snake the Union use as their mascot

Icon Sportswire. Getty Images.

And now Blob?

You can't name a city with a better starting 5 than that. And that's even with the Sixers making the biggest downgrade in the history of mascots going from Hip Hop to that stupid dog. You swap out the Union's mascot for Hip Hop and Philly's starting 5 mascots would kick the shit out of the '96 Bulls, the '85 Bears, the Gretzky Oilers, and whatever Yankees team from the turn of the 20th century you can name.

And Blob has all the makings of becoming one of the all-time greats. He'll run away with the rookie of the year award this year, and he'll immediately have his eyes set on the MVP. The only thing I'm worried about with Blob is that the USFL won't be around long enough for him to have a full career. All he really needs is a solid 2-3 years to really work himself into the fabric of this city. He looks like he belongs under a bridge in Kensignton with the rest of the crew. A hideous, menacing beast whose only goal in life is to wreak as much havoc as possible. Show up to Stars games at your own risk this season.