For Some Reason, You Will Soon Be Able to Stay at a Sports Illustrated Resort

Storyland Studios — Renowned international experience design and production studio Storyland Studios has been selected to master plan and design the latest addition to the world of immersive experiences: Sports Illustrated Hotels and Resorts, which are set to begin rolling out worldwide as early as 2023.

These new destinations will feature a variety of engaging, entertaining attractions for visitors and sports enthusiasts of all ages. Storyland’s team, made up of experience-design experts and veterans of the themed attractions industry, will lend its three-dimensional approach to storytelling to the project.

The first Sports Illustrated resort location is anticipated to be in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, with an expected unveiling date in 2023. The Orlando resort will follow. Other possible locations in the United States and Hawaii are under consideration.

It's about damn time. I can't tell you how often I have been planning a vacation to Florida or the Dominican Republic and found myself dumbfounded at the lack of Sports Illustrated-branded resort options. As problems in the world go, this was quite high on my list to be addressed.

Thankfully, we don't have to go without much longer. When you can use the precipitously waning popularity of Sports Illustrated to get people to stay at a resort, you gotta do it. I have long said this.

In all seriousness, I don't understand for the life of me what the appeal could be here. I will admit the go-kart track is cool. Go-karts always play. Beyond that, you're just choosing to stay somewhere that has a football-themed pool and a gigantic, seemingly non-functional baseball field? That hotel already exists in Orlando. It's called the Disney All-Star Sports Resort and it sucks.

I hope these resorts are wildly successful. Getting SI in the mail was my favorite day of the week as a kid. I have my doubts that these things will be teeming with people trying to get more Sports Illustrated in their lives, but more power to them.