Evidence Suggests That Guardians Rookie Steven Kwan May Be The Greatest Baseball Player of All Time

Through the first 4 games of his career, Steven Kwan is 9 for 13 (.692 average, .790 on base percentage) with 6 runs scored and a game-clinching bases clearing triple in the top of the 8th inning yesterday. I'm no Math major, but this means that Kwan will likely join the prestigious 3,000 hit club just 8 seasons into his career. Not to insult any former greats, but it took Ricky Henderson 24 seasons to do that. So I think it's safe to say that Pete Rose's Hit King record is officially in major jeopardy. If Kwan can stay healthy, he should hold that title during the all-star break of his 12th season.

I see a lot of people are calling him "Baby Ichiro", but I think that's low-hanging fruit because they're simply looking at his race and the fact that he is a base hit machine. First of all, his nickname needs to be Rich Homie Kwan because that's just cool. Either that or Steven Wan. Because when it comes to Steven, we're talking No Ks, folks.

The nicknames are endless. The Kwan and Only. The Chosen Kwan. Kwanye West. I don't hate this one either...

Now before you all race to the Barstool Sportsbook to combat inflation with a free return on your money, just know that odds have drastically been adjusted for the lock of the century: Steven Kwan for AL Rookie of the Year. He started around 75/1, and through four games, he's already down to +600. Don't be upset though, as there's still major value there. I don't know if it's a backend glitch or a typo or what, but the app is still saying he's only the FOURTH most likely to win. I thought the purpose of the sportsbook was to make money? But I guess that's just what they want the people to do, as soon as someone over there gets around to offering AL MVP odds for the new Hit King. He's currently not even on the board for AL MVP when we've got guys with +10,000 odds? I guess I just don't understand how we're offering odds for guys like Mike Trout, Vladimir Guerrero Jr, and Shohei Otani, but not household names like Steven Kwan?

Let me say this: I could not have been less excited for the 'Dians season this year. Name change, childish logo, and no money being spent had me down in the dumps. Especially after scoring a grand total of 1 run through our 0-2 start. But now we have Jose Ramirez locked up for years to come, are on a two game winning streak, scored a million runs in the past 2 days, and have perhaps the best baseball player in modern history hitting in the 2-hole for us? It appears I need to clear not only my summer calendar, but maybe my October one as well.