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The Goons and Goblins At Some Publication Called "Consumer Reports" Say We Should Be Setting Our Thermostats To 82 Degrees Every Night

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Travel and Leisure - In the middle of a sweltering summer you can bet that pretty much everyone has their air conditioners running as cold as possible.

However, according to Consumer Reports, most of us are probably running our air conditioners at the wrong temperature, which wastes energy and causes our utility bills to soar.

Energy Star came out with recommendations for setting your air conditioner so you can save money and use energy efficiently, according to Consumer Reports. It is recommended to set your air conditioner at 78 degrees when you’re home and awake.

If you leave your home, Energy Star also recommends setting your unit to 85 degrees. When you’re asleep, set it at 82 degrees. 

 

I will give you a Barstool Nate Guarantee™- I will never, EVERRRRRR set my thermostat to 82 degrees. I will one up it- that bad boy will never see a decimal point above 73. I don't care if Dave makes us pack up the NYC office and settle in Antartica, there is no way a thermostat of mine will ever see the numbers read 82, 85, or some other number is normally reserved for a senior citizen who drives their car into a farmers market. 

And why does this "Consumer Reports" suggest cranking it up so high? Brace yourself, folks:

 

While this may seem a bit higher than many people are used to, the report says that consumers can save an extra three percent on their energy bill for every degree they raise on their unit.

 

TO SAVE 3% (THREE PERCENT!!!!) ON YOUR ELECTRIC BILL!!!

I mean this will all due respect to my poor homies out there- if you turn your thermostat to 82 degrees on a warm summer's night to save 3%, you aren't fit to live in society. Move to the jungle and join Tarzan and the boys, this real life ain't for you. 

In my old 33 years and 6 months (in 4 days) on this Earth, I've learned one important lesson as an adult- pay for comfort. If you have a middle seat on the airplane, pay the extra so you don't. If a bus is $30 but the train is $100, pay the extra so you don't want to put a bullet through your skull when the smelly man wearing 6 coats starts playing his boombox out loud (in my younger days I took a lot of busses back and forth from DC to NYC and I am traumatized from it). And finally, if it's hot outside, don't set your thermostat to 82 degrees to save a few nickels on your bill. The discomfort of sweating through your sheets and waking up (if you even fall asleep) in a pool of your own sweat is not worth the same amount of money as a couple beers at the bar. 

There are some things in life worth saving on, but sweltering heat ain't one of em. Take it from me, and my Barstool Nate Guarantee™.