There's been a decent amount of donut talk around the Barstool Chicago office this week and Danny spontaneously followed up on the theme today with a fresh dozen for the office. We'll get to some criticisms in a moment but obviously first acknowledgement is how solid of a move this is for the office. Like gun to my head this is unconditionally the best thing you can do for a group of coworkers on a Wednesday morning. My face absolutely lit up when I saw this box of donuts waiting for me this morning. Some of you can relate to this simple joy: unexpected baked goods in the work space. A complete judge free zone to house a couple donuts two hours south of lunch time. That's the good life.
Knowing Danny though these could be poison donuts. He grew up on Ashton Kutcher directed pranks and it would probably be hilarious to him if we all got salmonella on a Wednesday. That fuckin guy I tell ya. Camera's always rolling with him don't you ever forget it.
For now though he gets the benefit of the doubt. A dozen donuts is a dozen donuts and I am in a much better mood because of them. For those keeping score I went classic chocolate and classic jelly. I love jelly donut very much.
Now for the criticisms:
No French Cruller: I have been craving a good Cruller for a long time and was expecting at least one in this box. But Danny said he couldn't pull the trigger. He put it on the same level as gas station sushi which is possibly even understated. I respect the fact that Danny doesn't source a Cruller from the bottom rack but personally I would have probably lined the outer half of the box with them. In any event that just gives me more reason to add a Cruller later in the week.
Dunkin Donuts: Even though Dinkel's is closing? Danny lives in the neighborhood so some people said he should have gone to Dinkel's but I don't pressure my peers into baked good decisions. Personally yes I would support small business but I am not turning my nose on the Western & Irving Dunking/Baskin/T-Mobile shop. They do good business.
Not The Red Line Dunkin: Our office is located off one of two Dunkin Donuts that populate the CTA Red Line. Just needed to point out these are from a different Dunkin. The one off Belmont is a dangerous proposition but God bless the men and women who work there. Just an unbelievably challenging place to work.
Double Old Fashioned: I mean I know you guys say I'm 50 but I'm actually 35 and even if I was 50, that's still way too young to be double old fashioned.
Double Boston Creampie is on a different trajectory. Not exactly my own cup of tea but I understand the appeal to going two BC's. People who love them go crazy for them and you can't buy just one for a dozen. You have to buy two. You can't pit the two BC people against each other. Either make both of them happy or none of them happy. And if you have 3 BC people in one office then you need to fire somebody. There needs to be order.
I think Boston Cream is last man standing here - Ed
Strawberry Frosted is overrated. That's my own personal take. I won't die on that hill but I'll fight you and beat you on it. Pussy.
Anyways here's the breakdown for our selection:
- WSD takes classic chocolate
- Chief takes old fashioned
- I take chocolate yeast and jelly
- Jack McCarthy takes vanilla sprinkles
- Danny starts Strawberry frosted
- Tom Leigh with Boston Creampie
This is a developing situation. Stay tuned and subscribe to our YouTube page to see more Shenanigans with me and Danny