I Am Insanely Jealous Of Selena Gomez's Claim That She Hasn't Been On The Internet In 4 and a Half YEARS

HuffPost - Selena Gomez has opened up about how a mental health diagnosis changed her life in a new interview with “Good Morning America.”

The singer, who shared in April 2020 that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, told “GMA” on Monday that it was “really freeing to have the information.”

And while learning more about her diagnosis has helped improve the singer’s emotional well-being, one major lifestyle change has also made a difference: staying offline.

“I haven’t been on the internet in 4 1/2 years,” Gomez said on “Good Morning America.” “It has changed my life completely. I am happier, I am more present, I connect more with people. It makes me feel normal.”

I have two takes to make on this:

1) I AM SO JEALOUS. The Internet SUCKS. It's the biggest cesspool ever created. It's a bunch of anonymous idiots flinging shit back and forth trying to score fake internet points to feed an emptiness in their hearts. Upvotes, likes, RTs, all of it- fucking suck. Remember life before the internet? When you just went about your day without caring what random strangers thought? It was amazing. I guess when I say "internet" I refer to Twitter and Instagram, mostly. Two huge mistakes. Twitter is probably the worst thing to ever happen to the world, while Instagram is probably the worst thing to ever happen to teenagers, specifically teenage girls. I can't imagine being a teenage girl living in the Instagram age. A lot of top doctors think we will look back on Instagram the same way we now view cigarettes, in complete disbelief we used to sell them (or market them) to kids. Getting a dopamine rush with the number of likes a photoshopped picture gets, that's no way to live. But the younger generation is now molded to think likes=value. It's so fucked up.

and 

2) I don't believe her. You can't just stay off the internet in 2022. Selena is saying she sees nothing? Like, what does she do, read the newspaper in the morning? And who is posting these pictures of her on IG? 

She signs in, posts a selfie, signs out? And doesn't go scrolling? I don't buy it. Back in my day you used to be able to do that. We would get an hour of computer time, play some games on SIKids.com (shout out Buzz Beamer), and sign off. Now the internet is built to get you addicted. Every app is built to short-circuit your brain to need to keep scrolling. To make you develop ADHD and OCD so you literally, LITERALLY, cannot stop. They've made the internet a physical addiction.

So if she is telling the truth, good for her. I wish I had Selena Gomez money so I could fuck off to the west coast, go on hikes with my future dog, surf, and play high stakes poker tournaments. Unfortunately I am just another sad sap, just like all of you, hopelessly addicted to the internet and then one day we'll die. 

Namaste.