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We Should All Hope for a Funeral Like the One Rapper Goonew Had: Propped Up Like a Mannequin in the Middle of a Rave at a Nightclub

I'm going to have to begin by admitting I'm not familiar with the work of the late rapper Goonew. I don't think I'm surprising anyone when I admit my familiarly with his genre of music peaked when every song started with “My name is [blank], and I’m here to say/ I like to [blank] in ev-ery way …

But I don’t have to be familiar with Goonew’s work to know that he must have been a king in his chosen field. He just had to, in order to earn a royal tribute like the one his fans gave him.

Source - Rapper Goonew was quite literally front and center at his own funeral ... with his body propped up and on display in a club.

The 24-year-old's funeral, named The Final Show, was held at Bliss Nightclub in Washington D.C. Sunday, and footage from inside the building appears to show the rapper's embalmed corpse overlooking the crowd, fully dressed up and wearing a crown.

Here's the video. Warning, NSFL:

And it only ended like that, standing in the middle of a massive rave like his own statue. It began like a state funeral for a ruling dignitary. Which Goonew may have been. From the looks of things, the only difference between his and Prince Phillips' procession was the crowd size. But Goonew's royal subjects were every bit as devoted to their leader:

And now that is where the bar is set. Not all of us can be statue worthy, like a Ben Franklin, a Martin Luther King or a Craig Biggio. But for those of us who fall short of being cast in bronze, we can still have a statue at our memorial, made out of flesh, bone and embalming fluid: Our own desiccated corpse. If nothing else, there'll be no complaining about what a terrible likeness it is the way they did with the Lucy statue a while back. So what better way to honor someone's memory than with the thing that most resembles them: Themselves. 

So kudos to the planners of this service. As I'm getting older and coming to grips with my own mortality, I find I'm starting to give thought to how I want to be sent to my final reward. Burial? Cremation? Push me out to sea in a boat and hit it with flaming arrows? Frozen in Carbonite like Han Solo? But now I've found it. In the proud tradition of the Irish Wake (where they put the whiskey bottle next to the deceased to keep it cold) or this country song: 

Keep me around for an extra night and have a good time at my expense. Farewell, Goonew. And to all who gave you the send off we all wish we could have, thank you. You just started a trend.