Gillie & Wallo's Knockout Party | Replay Available Until 12/17BUY NOW

My Brain And My Heart Are Currently In An Epic Battle When It Comes To All These Awesome Robert Williams Updates

Nathaniel S. Butler. Getty Images.

I'm trying my hardest, I really am. Ever since Rob went down and we got the very first report about the two surgery options, I tried to keep telling myself to ignore everything and just expect the worst. Given the history the Celts have with injuries and how they talk about them going back nearly 15 years, I figured that was the safest way for my mental health to go about the Rob situation. A typical expect the worst and hope for the best situation. We had been hurt too many times before with false hope that I didn't know if I could do it again with Rob. I'm still waiting on KG's knee to be "no big deal" for example.

But, I am just a man. I am only so strong. I can only resist the urge for so long, especially when my timeline keeps getting filled with stuff like this

I can feel it happening. My heart is starting to beat out my brain. My irrational thoughts are starting to take over and I am becoming less and less able to stop them. I know that despite all these updates that the safer route is to still be rational and stay the course. Operate as if Rob is never coming back until he does. We still don't know what will happen once Rob starts practicing again. Maybe there will be a setback, maybe there will be swelling, and there are still so many hurdles to get through. But……..I can't help it. I'm taking the bait. I find myself more and more willing to get hurt yet again with this shit. 

Here's how I know it's getting bad for me. If you're just a normal stoolie and you tweet me about your own meniscus surgery experience and how quickly you recovered, I am automatically making that connection to Rob's recovery. In no world does that make any sense because a rational person would remind you that each case is different. Rob's knee and recovery are unique to him, yet if I hear about how some normal dude was back to normal in like 2.5-3 weeks well then my heart says Rob will be back in 2.5-3 weeks. Normally I would try and fight that urge, but like I said I am getting weaker and weaker with every positive update I see.

I know deep down that this is only setting myself up for disappointment and heartbreak. It's just that the normal Celts starting 5 has been so dominant this season I can't help it. My heart wants to believe we wouldn't be seeing all this positive smoke if it was all bullshit, even if my brain knows that there's probably some bullshit mixed in. Maybe this is all just a way to keep the team focused and upbeat so they continue to play well. That's certainly believable even if I don't want to believe that's what we're seeing. 

There's also this to consider. This season, and I'm only talking about this season, the team hasn't pulled our leg when it came to injury timelines. When Jaylen pulled his hammy, his timeline matched what we were told. When Smart twisted his ankle, same thing. When Nesmith twisted his ankle, same thing. Is that all maybe just a coincidence and should it have no impact whatsoever about what we expect with Rob? Probably, but I'll be damned if I'm not using that to internally push the narrative I want to be true.

So far my brain has been able to win this battle, but my heart is coming strong and I don't know how long I can hold on.