A lot of kids grow up these days watching highlights of players like Sidney Crosby and Connor McDavid and Auston Matthews. They want to be just like the greats. They want to have insane speed, insane hands, and an insane shot. They wake up in the morning and they eat dangles for breakfast. The day continues to pass by and they get a little hunger in their belly sometime around noon, so it's dangles for lunch. After a long day of work they head home and sit down to a lovely home cooked meal of dangles for dinner. And before they rest their eyes for the night, it's time for a little treat of dangles for desert.
But what happens when your kids aren't watching highlight tapes of Nathan MacKinnon? What if they aren't watching Johnny Gaudreau and Trevor Zegras highlights every night? What if your kid logs onto YouTube and decides that his favorite player to watch is Marty McSorely?
Well I think we found our answer, and it's assault.
Listen. I don't want to be a stickler here. I'm not some guy who is going to treat the USA Hockey Rulebook like it's gospel. But you can't just skate up to a kid and two-hand baseball smash him in the face with your stick because he scored a goal against your team. Hate to be the bearer of bad news but that's not really kosher in the sport of hockey. Or really at all in life in general. Forget about 2-5 minutes in the box. That could land you 2-5 years in the slammer.
Again, I just have to reiterate here that you can't do that. No matter how badly you may want to decapitate your opponent on the ice, it's against the rules of the sport and against most laws in America.