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Senegal Clinches World Cup Berth By Blasting Mohammed Salah In The Face With Laser Beams

Game on the line. World Cup on the line. Glory on the line. Senegal wasn't about to let one of the best goal scorers on the planet simply step up to the spot and drill one home. If you want a penalty against Senegal you need to be prepared to have your retinas burned off with laser beams. That's what happens when the stakes are that big, I guess. Clear instance of who wanted it more and in this instance Senegal fans were willing to permanently blind a guy for glory. 

I am anti-blinding people. Want to go on the record with that, BUTTTTTTT...kind of like extreme home field advantages. You play against El Tri well you are going to get black lung from smog at 8000 feet. You want to beat Ecuador, well you better start blood doping like Lance Armstrong to deal with that altitude. If your guys grew up playing on concrete in the streets, you should be able to play on field turf like the old veterans stadium. If you're France, your opponents should have to smoke the same unfiltered cigs as you before the game. If South Africa wanted chained lions roaming around the sideline for intimidation, I think that should be allowed. If you're playing in America your pregame meal should be a hotdog and you should have to tweet about politics and deal with the mentions an hour before your game. Something like that. 

This is one of this instances where having a Coach K involved would help. Giant rat face asshole, but he would LOVE the chance to march into the Senegal stands, get on the PA, and scold them and then take a victory lap around the moral high ground in the post post game.  

In all seriousness you gotta feel for Salah and Egypt here. The first World Cup ever hosted by an Arab nation and country with the largest population in the region won't be going. That has to hurt extra. Hurt worse than being blinded, I bet.