Brooks Koepka Is Not A Fan Of Autographs

Golf star Brooks Koepka used a famous line from "Tin Cup" to shut down a group of autograph seekers at an event in Texas on Wednesday -- and his channeling of David Simms was pretty spot-on.

"I got to work," he said. "I don't come to your job asking for your s***, do I? I don't think so!"

I'm sure there's a handful of you are actually looking to have a major problem with Koepka's actions. Shame on you, he simply quoted a movie. For those of you unfamiliar - here's the line Koepka borrows  

On a somewhat related topic- Tin Cup is an awesome movie. Encapsulates the grind it out golfer story, the underdog vs the cocky scumbag favorite, the love story without being extra sappy, the golfer-caddy buddy relationship (Cheech Marin has a really enjoyable role), and Costner being Costner. However ... as Brandon Walker of The Brandon Walker Show (and 6 others I don't have time to list) has pointed out that is very obvious to anyone with a pulse, the ending is terrible.. flat out terrible. 

If you haven't seen it, I've included it below, but in a nutshell: Roy McAvoy battles a horrendous Round One to make it all the way back to potentially winning The US Open. The Final Hole is his kryptonite all week, and on the last hole of the tournament he goes for the green despite what would be a safe play. He sticks it in the water. He could take a drop and still tie. Nope. Roy drops multiple balls until his last ball in the bag, drills it and takes a 12 on the hole. Losing the tournament. Moronic. Unrealistic ending. Ruins the movie. 

Which brings me to my own quick question to ponder on during your lunch break while reading this. 

Which sports movie decision is the most puzzling of all time? 

Here's my mount rushmore in no order : 

- Tin Cup final hole 

Explained above

- Jesus Shuttlesworth's decision to commit to Big State University AFTER the deadline for his father's release

He Got Game is the best basketball movie ever created if you ask me. The one thing that always drove me crazy / I never fully understood from the first time I saw it to the the 50th is always "Did Jesus forgive his father or not?" 

His father, Jake, clearly explains the situation: sign with Big State and he will be released from prison. Jesus has his pick from any college in the country, as well as potentially entering the NBA Draft. He lets Jake go back in hand cuffs to prison after a game of 1 on 1. A few days later, Jesus declares that he will be attending Big State University. 

This always made we wonder why Jesus would choose to attend Big State University after the deadline. Did he toss the letter in a fit of rage and then realize it was time to forgive his dad ? Or does he hate his father so much he decides of all the places in the country he could attend, he chooses the one that could have helped his father, purposely after his deadline. A final fuck you if you will. 

This conundrum is only more complicated by the final scene where the ball being thrown from prison to Big State. 

If I ever meet Spike Lee it's the first question I will ask him. I toss and turn over which decision Jesus really made. One day I think Jesus did it to forgive him, another I think Jesus did it to fuck him over. 

- Ampipe High not taking a safety at the end of the game 

If you haven't seen All The Right Moves, go watch it. It's where a town from a Bruce Springsteen song meets High School Football. It's in my opinion one of the most slept on sports movies out there. 

To set the stage, Ampipe High is going through a decent season but their biggest rival Walnut Heights is a State juggernaut. Ampipe puts together an amazing defensive game plan, and catches a break with some weather. In the final minute they put have a goal line stand for the ages to hold off Walnut Heights for the win. Or so you think. 

With the rain pouring down Coach Burt Nickerson decides to run a play backed up on his own 1 yard line 

Here's how it turned out : 

Instead of taking the safety this moron coach runs a play ,that involves a handoff nonetheless, and costs his team the game. 

I still say this is one of the DUMBEST football decisions on the history of the planet. Pantheon of puzzling decisions. 

That's it. Those are my 3 biggest puzzling decisions of all time in sports movies. I'm interested to hear what you think I missed. 

(final note- I went puzzling coaching decisions/ hypotheticals more than puzzling actions in sports movies because if we were doing that- the top 2 wackiest things ever in sports movies are how the hell Drew Barrymore made it across Fenway in a packed stadium at the end of Fever Pitch, and how the hell did a guy talking to a ghost in an empty section of a stadium SECONDS after The National Championship not raise anyone's eyebrows in The Sixth Man.)