Surviving Barstool | Ep. 3 Premieres Wednesday (11/29) at 8PM ETWATCH EP. 2 NOW

Fuck It, Let's Bring Back Michael Conforto


A new We Gotta Believe dropped today and not to go all Frank The Tank on you guys, but I am, to quote Mike Francesa, officially #werried about the Mets offense right now. Yeah yeah yeahhhhh I know it's just Spring Training where everyone is getting into shape after sitting on their couch thinking there was gonna be a prolonged lockout like a kid that stayed up late playing video games because there was a 100% chance of snow. And I get that the lineup looks perfectly fine on paper for a team that could have a stacked rotation with this sick son of a bitch as their number 2.

But I need to get at least one more bat in this lineup before Opening Day. I'm not one of those people that wants Uncle Stevie to hit a half a million dollar payroll either. At least not in Year 1. I just can't bear the thought of this offense looking like it did last season, with one of our big additions that was going to make sure there would never be another Mets offense that looked like last year's team as long as Steve Cohen is owner already banged up.

Call it pessimism, broken Mets brain, or just knowing how baseball works after following this god forsaken sport forever. But seeing an important player go down with an oblique injury has my fan alarm ringing LOUD. An oblique injury in baseball is like a high ankle sprain in football. Just a motherfucker of an injury that could most certainly be better while also being worse. I'm honestly not sure what exactly an oblique is or looks like but I do know it's a motherfucker of an injury that shoves all your well laid plans up your well laid ass before the first official pitch of the season is even thrown.

I also understand that Michael Conforto is repped by Scott Boras and was DREADFUL for a good chunk of last season. But that could've been due to getting a little thing called Covid early, contract jitters, or just a shit year because that's baseball Suzyn. I'm not even the biggest Conforto fan to be honest because I like right fielders that can throw home without bouncing the ball on the ground and not look like either the best or worst hitter in baseball depending on if he's hot or slumping. But if I have to trust that Starling Marte's oblique is going to be healthy in a couple of weeks while also trusting that Brandon Nimmo is going to stay healthy for months at a time, I might as well by myself a FEEBLE shirt because that's all we are going to hear the entire summer.

I rebuke this shirt for what it's worth

Again, with that motherfucker Boras as his agent, I don't think the Mets are getting anywhere near a hometown discount. But if all the teams that are actually going to spend money to win are done spending, we could give Conforto a one year deal worth a shit ton of money that'll allow him to hit the market at a time where he's not coming off the worst season of his career followed by a lockout instituted by billionaires trying to act like they are poor. Plus, I would hate for any other fanbase to tweet this out after a Conforto bomb.

For the record, I reserve the right to change my mind and delete this blog if Khalil Lee shows up with a bat that is three inches shorter than last year's bat since that's the only thing stopping him from becoming the next Andruw Jones. But if that's not the case, I think giving a homegrown player that looked much more like his old self at the end of the season 

via Fangraphs

Also on the pod we discuss the Bronx Broke Boys not only being owned by the new Jeff Wilpon but also potentially being the next big baseball cheating scandal, the NL East leveling up to the NL Beast in free agency, Jacob deGrom being too down to Earth for his own good, and Dom Smith potentially being ready to lift his value through the roof.

So check out this week's episode at the top of the blog or listen below (or on Apple or Spotify).