MLB Needs To Open Up An Investigation Into How Much Our Lineup Card Sucks

Sounds like some pretty heavy shit is coming from MLB the immediate future about sign stealing. A lot of people are up in arms about it but I actually want to talk for a second about how I'm getting my ass kicked up and down Michigan avenue right now on lineup cards. This is categorically unacceptable: 

That's the standard issue default font from a macbook pages app that's way past the 90-day trial period and keeps asking you to update your contact info. That's what I think when I see that lineup card. Some 22 year old Ivy league quantitative specialist utterly lacking in critical soft skills throwing this together at the 11th hour. Can't figure out how to get the bluetooth printer to connect. Emailing the attachment to himself to print off from a desktop that's hardwired into the copy/fax machine. At no point in this process is anyone even remotely concerned with presentation value. 

Meanwhile on the Southside, Tony La Russa hired the assistant pro from your local country club to handcraft some of the finest old english these eyes have seen. Charles Dickens eat your heart out. 

We gotta get this turned around pronto. Everyone's busy talking about the big stuff like infield play and two-out hitting but I think we need a more concentrated focus on optics. You want a high powered team, give me a high powered lineup card. We'll worry about the names on it later but first give me a sense that this is the big leagues. There's a reason they say Look Good first. Then you Feel Good. Then you Play Well. That's technically the correct progression but I understand the phonetic appeal of tripling down on Good.

In other news, the Cubs have graduated from 16th in payroll to now 15th following the signing of Seiya Suzuki and still $5,000,000 below MLB average. It certainly feels like the big moves are done so excuse me if this lineup analysis seems a little out of place. New moneyball says you need to find a competitive edge anywhere you can and I'm going back to basics. Give me something better than that bullshit then let's talk hitting the cutoff man. 

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