Live EventEat Pray Limbs is Live to Give Picks for Week 2 of The Premier LeagueWatch Now
Let the Countdown Begin | Alex Bennett and Coach Duggs Make Their Fighting Debuts In Rough N' Rowdy 18 Next Friday 8PM ETBUY NOW

I'm Completely Embarrassed By My Most Recent Performance On "The Dozen"

***SPOILER ALERT***

I've lost sleep over this game. Don't get me wrong, from a pure numbers standpoint, my performance on The Dozen on Wednesday was satisfactory. It wasn't one of my better outings, but I got five of our 11 points. With that said, I don't do "fine." I let at least three questions slip through my fingertips. 

I'm ashamed for not knowing Jason Giambi and not only not knowing Jason Giambi but throwing out Garrett Anderson as a guess. GARRETT FUCKING ANDERSON! He was an outfielder. Yes, I know he won the Derby in 2003, beating out Albert Pujols, but it doesn't matter. I should've known it.

But it only got worse from there. 

The number of times I listened to this song my first year of high school and have continued to listen to it over the last 12 years is staggering. I've probably known every fucking word of that song for over a decade, and I still screwed it up.

When I was in high school, the group I used to hang out with compared me to Charlie Kelly from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" mainly due to my manic energy. Still, I think maybe it's also because, much like Charlie, I might be illiterate. Because only a single-digit IQ dummy would not understand the difference between PNC Park and PNC Arena. Don't get me wrong, I was never going to get this question right because geography isn't my strong suit, nor will it ever be, but holy shit, how about I read the fucking question right? 

This isn't a bit. I don't make shit up. I'm legitimately upset. And hey, credit to URmom. They deserved their victory. But this one is on me. 

No more choking.