I'll go first…
I was in San Diego last week at a Mexican seafood restaurant with 7 customers, and midway through the meal, I started to experience some gastro-intestinal distress. But after excusing myself from the table I found the Men's Room was "uccupado" so I proceeded to perform an absolute exorcism in the Women's toilet next door.
So to God AND to the woman who was waiting outside as I emerged, "Lo siento muchisimo."
If there's anything you need to get off your chest, the comments are open.
Two Hail Marys, three Our Fathers, and slip a 20 in the collection box on the way out… All is forgiven.