This "Juicy Gold Brisket" Is Quite Possibly The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To Barbecue

There have been countless atrocities committed throughout the course of human history. Moments we look back on in pure horror. Moments that end up in textbooks with the hopes of teaching the future generations to not make the same mistake and commit the same atrocities. And out of all the terrible, god awful things that humans have done during our time on Earth, I don't think it gets any worse than this "juicy gold brisket". I mean what the fuck are we doing here, people? I know we live in a free market and everything but I think butchers should be able to refuse to sell meat to twerps like this. 

First off I just want to continue my crusade against assholes on the internet squeezing all the juice out of their meat. 

(I should call her)

Aside from the fact they clearly pumped this brisket full of juice after they sliced into it just for these shots, I'm sick and tired of seeing everybody squeeze their meat on the internet. You spent all that time cooking the brisket to get it tender and moist and juicy, and in 15 seconds you're just going to ruin it by squeezing all that juice onto your cutting board? Donkey brains. 

Secondly--barbecue started as a way to take these super cheap cuts of meat that weren't selling because they were too tough, and then smoking them for hours and hours until they become tender and delicious. Granted, beef prices are through the roof right now and brisket sure as shit ain't cheap. But at the heart of barbecue, it's a celebration of cheap tough cuts of meat. Then you get some little shithead like this on TikTok who decides to take a brisket and cover it in gold like a total schmuck. The last thing we need right now are more nerds on TikTok driving up the price of brisket because they want to "break the internet". God I hate it here. 

There are very few things you need to make a great brisket. You need to start off with a solid trim. 

You need some salt, some black pepper, and some granulated garlic. 

You need wood, you need fire, you need smoke. And after that, all you need is time. 

Nowhere in there do you need to add gold flakes to your brisket. Literally nowhere.