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BREAKING: Russell Wilson Has Been Traded To The Broncos

So March 8th is the day where the NFL goes bonkers out of the goddamn blue, huh? Aaron Rodgers got his bag from the Packers and Broncos fans had to eat shit for a few hours. But now they have a QB1 that can actually get the ball to Jerry Jeudy, who will probably be tweeting a slightly different emoji after the Rodgers deal came out.

UPDATE:

Oh wait I just reread Adam Schefter's tweet and realized that Russell Wilson has to approve the trade, which based on every single quote he gave the last few months, will be a really tough decision! JK, no way the trade or every rumor from the last year comes out without Russ and he's gonna be stoked to play at Mile High since it's closer to God. So I imagine this is what the Wilson household looks like right about now (I'm not sure if Ciara can hit that level of excitement though).

Suddenly Von Miller wanting to go back to Denver makes a whole lot more sense outside of being loyal and not wanting to change his address on everything, which I imagine is really annoying even if you are rich.

Patrick Mahomes, Russell Wilson, and Justin Herbert all in the AFC West for the foreseeable future is straight up unfair.

Thank God the Giants don't have to play those teams for four more seasons after playing them last year. Best of luck Patrick Graham!

UPDATE 2: Drew Lock is in the deal to Seattle since Schefty seems to have punted on all the Rodgers news to get every nugget from his old stomping grounds in Denver.

We may see Pete Carroll chew a piece of gum into dust next season and if DK was upset when Russell Wilson was throwing him the ball, I can't imagine how he'll feel with Drew Lock under center. 

Speaking of which, I think the Seahawks should be forced to include Tyler Lockett in any trade with Russell Wilson because the weird mind meld those two have is bigger than sports like #somethings are.

UPDATE 3: No Lockett in the deal but a bunch of players and picks going to the Seahawks, including Noah Fant who I will convince myself will be a monster in fantasy like I have for every other Seahawks tight end with Russell Wilson before realizing Russell Wilson is in Denver, which I will forget about no less than 1000 times over the next 6 months.

Let's keep cooking NFL GMs and turn today into a crazy game of Madden Franchise Mode! I'd like more starting QB trades with Jimmy G and Kirk Cousins out there but I'll also take moves involving Pro Bowlers or even guys I've heard of since the baseball lockout doesn't seem to be moving anywhere fast. I'll even accept the Broncos announcing they are bringing back these beauuuuutiful jerseys since they have a new starter at quarterback, which feels like the perfect time to make a change.

Speaking of which, get prepared to hear how the last two Super Bowl winning QBs were in their first seasons with new teams 100 times during every Broncos game this year.