BOLO: Box Of Human Heads On The Loose In Denver

Via Fox News:

Someone broke in and stole a box containing human heads from a truck in Colorado last week, according to reports. 

The strange theft took place between 2:30 p.m. Wednesday and 9:30 a.m. Thursday while the freight company truck was parked in Denver’s Central Park neighborhood, police said. The heads were being transported for medical research purposes, according to authorities.

There's no word yet on how many heads were in the box, but authorities said the box's dimensions were  20 x 15 x 18, so let me do the math here... 

According to Google the average skull is 6.75 x 6 x 5, but for imagination's sake I'm going to assume these were whole heads complete with the noses & hair & such making these more like 8 x 7 x 6. I'm just going to divide those head inches into the box inches and thus assume 3 heads could fit if they were packed in there real tight (unless it's a John Travolta type head in which case only one). So yeah, pretty safe to assume at least 3 heads cruising around Denver right now. Is anyone still reading this? I'm sorry.

The whole story leads me to ask why boxes with human body parts were just sitting in a truck unattended in a residential neighborhood. And who stole the box & what were their intentions? My initial thought is whoever broke into the truck saw a medical box & hoped there'd be drugs or valuable equipment inside. If so, what a buzzkill when you finally open that sucker. Inversely, imagine being the kind soul who donated your head to science watching your grape get stolen out of a truck by a junkie named Denny.

And finally, the news said the box was marked with "Science Care Inc" which is an organization you can donate your body to science through. Out of sheer curiosity I went down a rabbit hole and my God who is running their social media.. 

From my brief Kate-level research it looks like you donate your body to Science Care and then they either sell your body to schools or researchers for training, or have groups pay to come to Science Care's own "Event Labs" (conveniently located near the Phoenix airport!) where they lay all the donated bodies out for ya. The trade-off if you're a donor is that you don't have to pay for your eventual cremation or whatnot. And of course the peace of mind that comes with knowing a future doctor will know what the inside of a knee or bowel looks like now.


Anyways, no word yet on if the heads have been recovered. I'm just glad I'm not the Science Care employee who has to inform the families of the donors about what's going on right now. I'm sure… heads are gonna roll for this. 

Giphy Images.