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An Ode To Coach K On His Last Home Game

You guys hear about Coach K? Last ride. Last home game. Not sure if you were beat over the head with the news or not yet. Anyways, I figured I'd write a little ode to K. My enemy for nearly 35 years. A man I truly despise. You see there is the correct way to look at K. The greatest coach in college basketball and the biggest asshole in college basketball. That's K. I am truly going to miss him in college because of that hatred. Duke won't be the same. Sure, Jon Scheyer could be a dickhead in the future and has the potential for a face that you just want to punch. But he's not the original. He's the guy after the guy. 

But this is his day. It's not about the players, it's about K. Duh. It's a retirement tour he swears he didn't want and frankly we're all lucky the ACC sucks this year so it hasn't been every single night with him. So in honor of his last day, let's run through the memories. 

The faint

An all-time moment because of how the gif is used now. There's nothing better than when something is going wrong with Duke and you see the gif of him falling over. Which leads to the next point


​He knew this team stunk and just bailed. Made Pete Gaudet take the 15 losses with him too.

The life lessons

Nobody made sure to give more life lessons than K. Hell, people didn't even want them. He made sure every person who beat him they did something wrong or made sure they knew what an accomplishment it was. Truly fascinating to watch a man think he deserves to walk into an opponents locker room just to say how big it is they beat Duke. Also no bigger hypocrite. It will always make me smile knowing how many times he got caught in a lie like the Dillon Brooks one. 

Yelling at his own fans

My personal favorite memory. One where everyone was just baffled. They were chanting at Jeff Capel, not even a mean chant or anything. Just chanting at him to sit with them. Not on K's watch! The man lost his damn mind and started screaming at some kids. Laugh out loud funny to watch every single time. Almost as funny as him trying to come up with new cheers. 

The decades of hate

I will truly miss the hatred I have for watching him coach Duke. There will never be another coach in my lifetime like him for me. He was a worthy adversary mostly because of all the idiot Duke fans too. The ballwashing he got over the years has truly been amazing to watch. Whether it was people refusing to believe stories of him making Semi Ojeleye's family cry. The refusal to acknowledge how he was a hypocrite when it came to one-and-dones. The refusal to believe that anything could possibly go wrong. So on a day like today, where so many are doing nothing but praise for K, I speak for those on the other side. Those that watch the game and can't stand him. Even though he'll still be lurking around, I'm gonna miss that hatred.