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Auston Matthews Destroys Reporter For Asking About His Juicy, Juicy Lips

Defending Sidney Crosby has proven itself to be quite the difficult task over the past 16 years. He's a threat to make something happen pretty much every time he steps on the ice. He's a career 1.27 points per game player, so there's no real way to keep the puck out of your own net when you're playing against him. looks like Auston Matthews found a great hack. If you don't want Crosby to put the puck in the back of the net, all you have to do is get rid of the net. 

Now he's still working out the finer details here. I mean I'm sure he'd love to not take the net out with his mouth. But it still got the job done since Crosby didn't score on that shift, so you tell me. It might not be the safest defensive strategy ever, but it's effective. It'll also be great for the dental industry. 

A few lost teeth, and a few days later Auston Matthews showed up to the Maple Leafs practice facility with a set of lips on him that put Kylie Jenner to shame. A supremely juicy set of lips on this young lad. A sign of his defensive ingenuity. You'd think reporters would be praising him. But not this one. And AM34 had to zip up the body bag personally. 

First of all, how jealous do you think Taylor Hall is of those bad boys? Poor guy has been working his whole career to have the most voluptuous lips in the league, and all it takes for Auston Matthews is one run-in with the crossbar to take his throne. Tough scene. Not quite as tough of a scene as that reporter had to deal with getting dunked on like that. But this is starting to shape up like an Auston Matthews villain origin story to me. I mean he already sent his goons out there to seek vengeance against the crossbar. 

We'll see where this story goes. But I'd treat lightly if I were Toronto media right now and there's the potential that villain AM34 is on the loose. The Phil Kessel sequel.