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REPORT: Not A Single Player On The Rams Drank Out Of The Lombardi Trophy Last Night

MediaNews Group/Pasadena Star-News via Getty Images. Getty Images.

Imagine working your whole life for this moment. Dedicated years and years to perfecting your craft in hopes of one day hoisting the Lombardi Trophy over your head. The hard work, the sacrifices, the moments that nobody else ever sees or hears about. Then one day it all comes together and you finally reach the pinnacle of success. You've turned your dream into a reality, won the Super Bowl, and what happens next?

The NFL gives you a silver football and then basically tells you to just go fuck off somewhere. 

Now I know what some of you are thinking right now. "Oh here comes Jordie with another hardo hockey take about how the Stanley Cup is the best trophy in sports because you can drink out of it". But you couldn't possibly be more wrong if you tried, bozos. This is about how the PLL Championship Trophy is already a thousand times cooler than the Lombardi Trophy. You want to see how you're supposed to celebrate winning a title? Look no further. 

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Icon Sportswire. Getty Images.

And if you're not gassing beers out of the trophy while you're up there on the stage, the league hooks you up with some Pink Whitney nips to make sure you still get properly lubricated for the celebratory festivities. 

Icon Sportswire. Getty Images.

Do you think Roger Goodell made sure that Matt Stafford got loaded on Pink Whit last night? Do you think the NFL made sure that Aaron Donald got to crush a bottle of Pink Whitney to himself last night? Not a chance. Because the NFL doesn't care. Their athletes could go to hell for all they're concerned. Not the PLL, though. Not the sport of the future. This is a league that cares about its athletes and realizes that winning a championship actually means something other than ratings. 

At this point, the Lombardi Trophy is just a nuisance you have to carry around in the locker room after winning a Super Bowl that does nothing more than prevent you from being able to double fist a couple of cold ones. 

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Seems less than idea to me. Hopefully the NFL at least hooked them up with a few extra pairs of cleats in the locker room. 

@JordieBarstool