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Tom Brady’s Individual Record Against All 32 Teams Is Preposterous

Most people immediately jump to the 33-3 mark against the Bills as the most impressive record up there. That’s wrong. Like yeah that’s hilarious but it’s like being amazed Jordan took down the Perkins School for the Blind. 64-11 combined against the Bills and Jets is cool and all but that feels like 11 too many losses for my liking. I’m sure Tom also looks back and is embarrassed by that many Ls to such inferior competition.

To me what stands out is his utter domination of the teams that would have flourished if he simply had not been born. The Steelers, Colts and Chargers would have traded off running the AFC for stretches had Tom Brady simply never existed. 38-9 against prime Peyton, those years Andrew Luck cared about football, Big Ben’s entire career, and whatever Philip Rivers was doing out in San Diego. That’s why the whole “he played in the AFC East” chirp never really passed the sniff test. It always reeked of bullshit because every time he stepped outside of the AFC East he was arguably better. I find it hard to believe he would have struggled playing his whole career in the AFC South, for example. Or if he got to play the Browns, Bengals and Steelers six times a year. I’m sure that would’ve been a real challenge.

For the other side of the coin, the Broncos and Dolphins should genuinely hang banners for their records against Tom Brady. I know we shit on the Colts for hanging participation banners every time they complete a pass, but this isn’t that. The Broncos always showed up and played Brady tough. Didn’t matter if they had the Snake, Dead Arm Peyton, Brock Osweiller, whoever under center, they were gonna show up and play a competitive four quarters. Unless Tebow was under center. Then… yanno, not so much. As for the Dolphins, just a true division rival in every sense of the word. 12 losses, more than the Jets and Bills combined. If the Miami Heat can retired Michael Jordan and Dan Marino’s numbers, I see no reason why the city of Miami can’t celebrate beating TB12 more than any other franchise. A team wins the Super Bowl every year, five franchises will never be able to say they got the best of The Pharaoh. The Dolphins earned that banner, I hope they fly it high with pride.