Anyone Who Still Uses Chopsticks Is Just A Show Off

-I don’t like when restaurants try to “do too much” as the kids say and serve too many different types of food. I prefer when they stick to one cuisine and perfect it. I want steakhouses just doing steak. I want Italian places just doing Italian. I want Asian places just doing Asian and so on and so forth. I never want to see a filet mignon and spaghetti and meatballs on the same menu. 

-The only reason people still use chopsticks is to show off and I refuse to believe otherwise. We invented better technology. And it’s called a fork. It does everything chopsticks can do and more. And it’s way easier to use. Still using chopsticks would be like still watching black and white TV. Or still using a Nokia flip phone. There’s no reason to do those things unless you’re some hipster trying to show you’re better than people. And you're not. 


-I have never scrolled past a Twitter poll and not voted in it. Even when I know absolutely nothing about the topic, I feel like I just have to weigh in. Instagram, however, I almost never vote because people can see who voted, so you really have to pick your spots wisely. 

-Something I’ve considered doing but will probably never actually follow through with. When I go out to dinner with a group of people, I inevitably have to pee multiple times and I always get anxious that people are talking about me when I’m gone. So one time maybe I’ll just bring a voice recorder and leave it underneath the table and then play it back later to see what people said about me. I am not a well person. 

-People who update their phone software and apps immediately are way too trusting. I am always paranoid and assume a new update is going to break my phone, light it on fire, and send all my data to China or something. But I do appreciate you daredevils who get the immediate updates and report back to the rest of us. 

-I feel like a lot of classic artists were maybe not actually that good and it was more just a case of “right place, right time.” The Mona Lisa. Starry Night. Kind of shitty looking paintings. But not as many people were doing art back then so they had less competition. It was new to them. I feel like if today in 2022, I painted the Mona Lisa and showed it off, everyone would say “Shut up Tommy. That painting sucks. Stick to making TikToks you handsome and funny boy.” (That’s how people always talk about me). 

Thank you for your time.