A Brazilian Singer Guarantees A Bengals Super Bowl Win Because She's Promising One Of 'Her Men' Who Plays For Them A 'Great Night'

Well then, good luck to the Rams. Looks like Skyline is going to be chugged in pounds here soon. How can you argue against this? Brazilian singer Anitta is guaranteeing 'a great night' (sex and/or blowjobs) for her Bengals guy. Now here's the problem. She's promising this the night before. Can't have that. He's going to be tired or too relaxed. I also think we know who the funniest answer of what Bengals guy she's talking about here. 

Justin Casterline. Getty Images.

Matthew Stockman. Getty Images.

The long snapper, Clark Harris. Easily the funniest answer. But again, you can't have your guy tired on Super Bowl day. Make the guarantee of a great night, before Cincinnati flies out there or the night of the Super Bowl. Gotta make it so he has something to play for. What if there's a problem that night prior? What if he's too worked up for the game, it doesn't 'work' or it ends too fast. Then he's gotta worry about that. Can't have that. 

Anyways, this is Anitta. 

Sure, no Shakira, but I could see how we're talking about a great night involved. That said, I am worried for the Bengals. Not because of this. But because they are switching up their juju. You gotta keep the same jerseys from the last two games no matter what. 

Everything is truly coming up Cincinnati right now.