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The Internet Believes Belichick's Texts to Brian Flores Were Intentionally Meant to Screw Other Teams, and I'm Here for All of It

Brian Flores was on the CBS morning show today with two of his attorneys. And while there a couple of questions he seemed unprepared for and his lawyers had to step in, he nevertheless came off as genuine and thoughtful. Someone who sincerely believes he was yanked around by teams who had already hired someone else, but just put on a show of interviewing him in order to avoid running afoul of the Rooney Rule. And he's choosing to fight to improve the system rather than being a prop for their theatrics any longer. 

He didn't necessarily break any new ground. The lawsuit itself says it all. In writing. But his conviction that he and other minority coaching candidates have been done dirty was clear. And it's worth mentioning that a league which spent months and millions of dollars investigating psi in some game balls took all of 30 seconds to say none of what Flores is claiming is true:

Because they don't have to look into it. They already know teams wouldn't hold fake, puppet show interviews and Steve Ross wouldn't tamper with a quarterback (Tom Brady) before he's available or offer Flores money to lose on purpose. They just wouldn't. 

But I digress from the most entertaining part of all this. Bill Belichick, a 69-year-old technophobe who refers to social media platforms as MyFace, InstFace, and Pandorama, and who made a point of letting the world know he can't change his car clock for Daylight Savings Time:

… made a common texting faux pas, and in doing so unleashed Flores wrath against the NFL. But the world is not accepting this was an understandable mistake. This is the Dark Lord of the Sith we're talking about. Which can only mean that everything that has transpired has done so according to his design. 

The theory goes that the text thread was intentional. It was a superweapon. A WMD he stealthily sent to destroy the Dolphins, Bills and Giants all at the same time. And it's glorious. 

And my sentimental favorite:

I could do this all day, but that would be overkill. You get the point. This is something that fans of other teams - and even the Pats fans who chose Tom Brady's side in the breakup - are missing out on. Part of the reason people like me are so fiercely, unwaveringly loyal to this man is his affect on other people. They say the Queen of England is the biggest land owner in the world, but she's got nothing on the square acreage he owns in America's head. He's turned everyone's brains into Escape Rooms with puzzles then cannot solve and locks they cannot open. 

Yup, he did this on purpose alright. Flores told him in confidence about Ross, and Bill knew, like the Joker, that all he needed was a little push and there'd be chaos. The Bills had become too big a problem, so he made sure to mention Buffalo. The Giants are an old score to settle, and revenge is a dish best served cold. And if he timed it just right (he did) the lawsuit would be filed to not only overshadow Brady's retirement announcement, but to fuck shit up good at Roger Goodell's annual Super Bowl presser. And it all came off without a hitch. He and Flores worked together on this the way they did gameplanning against the Rams offense in Super Bowl LIII. 

This is why I love this man. Even when he makes an honest mistake, he ties everyone into knots. #KisstheRings