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I No Longer Fear This Blizzard After Hearing Andy The Snow Plow Driver Dominate Its Entire Life

This blizzard has been the talk of the Northeast all goddamn week. Especially when the weather men and women out there kept tossing out prognostications ranging from anywhere between “two and 20 inches” of snow. Meteorology is probably a tough job, one I don’t know the first thing about, but the whole point of the news is to communicate a message in the most digestible way possible for the common man. Which is why moving forward I’m only getting my weather updates from Andy the Plow Driver. Sure I wont know what to expect a few days from now, I’ve lived my life the last 32 days not knowing what to expect in the future. But real time? I know exactly what kind of snow we’re dealing with thanks to Andy. This shit is SAWFT. It’s more cloud dandruff than actual snow. Hardly worth all the hubbub and hullaballoo it caused all week. Now that wet heavy snow? At this volume? That’d be a real problem. I’m talking mass power outages, pipes bursting, no English muffin nooks nor crannies in that scenario. Andy wouldn’t be taking out his cigar in the second quarter like Red Auerbach for a storm like that. But for this?