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The Forecast For Snow This Weekend? Anywhere from Two to TWENTY Inches


Amazing. Simply amazing. Nothing I write will ever be funnier than that headline. They weather man is predicting between 2 and 20 inches, without an ounce of irony whatsoever. He went over his Doppler Radar, looked at his charts and graphs, ate a family sized portion of lasagna, and landed on somewhere between 2 and 20 inches. I suppose it depends on if the snow starts the measuring at its taint or how much it can push the ruler into its stomach. I swear babe, I'm usually closer to 20 inches, I swear! 

I know we've joked about it, but seriously, is there a better job than a TV weather man? If it snows, you're a genius. If it doesn't? Well, those northerly winds are unpredictable! These fellas, god bless em, have not a clue what is going to happen until it's happening. And even then they get it wrong. I remember when school would sometimes be canceled because of a dusting, and other times they would send us to school and we'd get a blizzard. Actually one of my best memories is playing Wrestlemania XX on N64 at my friend Troy's house as it snowed 3 feet outside. We would create our own wrestlers and do Royal Rumbles non-stop. What a blast.


Anyway though, I fucking love weather folk. This all reminded me of when Riggs (yes, the golf influencer) used to get in fights with meteorologists and tell them how much they stunk.



For those new here, Riggs the influencer used to blog. Now he's rich as fuck buying homes on golf courses. Oh how times have changed (for him, not me). Riggs also once dominated Lindsey Pelas in a Twitter battle. Good times.

So hey, prepare for those 2-20 inches. I'm sure the line at Trader Joe's is already around the block. I actually was going to go food shopping today but now there's nothing I'd like to do less. The mere mention of snow gets people acting like it's Y2K but this time the computers will actually turn on us. It's fucking bedlam in the streets. Makes you wonder if Big Weather is in the pocket of Big Grocery Store to help move product off the shelves? Just something to think about. Hmmmm.