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BREAKING: Sean Payton Is Stepping Down As Saints Head Coach

So that is the most unexpected yet not surprising thing ever, right? I feel like every offseason, Sean Payton would be contemplating going to a new team (almost always when Jason Garrett's ass was smoking from the hot seat) before he would come back, with this being my favorite iteration of the saga.

I don't know if Sean Payton left because ownership has always been wonky since Tom Benson died a few years ago, he was upset nobody stepped in front of Kevin James playing him in a movie, or he feels like the NFL is finally going to hold the Saints to the salary cap like the other 30 teams that aren't named the Rams and he knows that Taysom Hill contract is still on the books. Hell, I don't know if he is even allowed to take another job or even wants to. But I would officially like to send this message to him before those lovable sons of bitches in Chicago can get their bear claws into him along with any other team that has a coaching opening.

Yeah yeah yeahhhh, I know your time with the Giants didn't end well. But that was over 20 years ago, all our chips were in the middle of the table, and that got Big Blue to the Super Bowl where that bullshit defensive holding call on Keith Hamilton changed the entire complexion of the game. All I'm asking is for you to think about it Sean. If you thought Taysom Hill was a weapon at QB, just think about what you can do with Daniel Jones and Kadarius Toney. 

Now let's go live to Dallas to get Mike McCarthy's reaction to this news!

P.S. This was the most surprising part of this entire story